The Take: Freddie Jackson: A Sculpture in Progress
by Sailor-Sutty
Summary: Freddie Jackson has just come out of prison, he's scum, that's what I've always been told and I believed it. That was until he showed a completely different side to himself, an unfinished work of art that I couldn't turn away into the cold and I feel everyone needs to know the side of Freddie that he showed me. Freddie/OC Martina Coles/BBC's 'The Take' Tom Hardy as Freddie
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I watched 'The Take' the other night and I really wanted to write something to do with it so here's a start, I hope you all like it and I am working on my other stories don't worry :) Tom Hardy is just electric in this mini series and he plays such an amazing character that I wanted to put my own spin on it, hope you like it :)**

**-Sailor**

Freddie Jackson. Even his name strikes fear in me to this day. But there was a different side to Freddie, a side he didn't show that often. I was one of the people he showed it to occasionally. Now I'm not defending anything he did to me or anyone else but I just feel it's fair that people know the two sides there was to Freddie. Freddie got me involved in a life I told myself I was never going to get involved in, he got me sucked in and nearly ruined everything for me…but he had another side to him. A side even his family didn't know he had. A loving, emotional side that was in need of a shoulder to cry on and I was the unfortunate person that he picked.

I don't remember a lot of Freddie before he got out of prison to be honest. I was only about 15 when he first got sent down. But I remember his name being talked about on the block. The block being the little square our apartments surrounded. I remember kids saying Freddie Jackson was the man, kids looked up to him. I was not one of them. Freddie lived a few doors down from us with his family and all I can really remember of him is standing outside my flat, with my sketch pad up on the cold concrete sketching what I saw when he approached me. His girlfriend at the time, the yoke who lived on the floor below us, Jackie was standing at the end of the row, at the stairs smoking and watching everything Freddie was doing.

"What the fack you doin'?" he jeered grabbing my pad from my grasp. He flicked through it and laughed at each sketch. He wore a leather jacket with the collar up and dark aviator type sunglasses and dodgy teeth.

"Give it back will you" I snapped grabbing it back.

"Alrigh' don't be expecting to do anything with them drawins' kid, nobody gonna bother when they find out where you're from" he said taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

Almost immediately my mother appeared at the door grabbing my arm and yanking me inside.

"Leave my daughter alone" she sneered at Freddie. All he did was laugh in her face and flick some ash on her doormat. She slammed the door and pulled me into the kitchen.

"You stay away from Freddie Jackson Alyson. He is nothing but trouble!" she snapped, tears forming in her eyes.

"Mom, I wasn't talking to him he grabbed my sketch pad but I told him off"

She looked at me and smiled. "I know I just don't want you getting mixed up with the likes of him. He's not good news darling, and you're going onto bigger and better things" she smiled kneeling down and clasping my face.

"You're going to go to Art College and make something of yourself; you'll never have to live in a place like this"

My mother had always wanted me to go to college that was her dream. She wasn't like most of the mom's on this block who didn't care what their kids were up to, she watched me like a hawk and made sure I went to school every day. She always said you can spend a fortune but you can't spend an education. Education was the key to getting out the shit that we lived in now. It wasn't my mother's fault; my father was the no good one in the family, leaving us with nothing to rot here like rats and that was something my mother never wanted for me. Her worst nightmare would be I would end up dependent on a man, especially on a man like my father or as she saw it, someone like Freddie Jackson.

The next I remember was when I saw was the day the police arrived and took Freddie away. He had that same walk, the walk that said 'I don't give a fuck what you do to me.' I watched from the balcony with all the neighbors as they gossiped and said how they knew all along that whole family were nothing but scum. I saw Jackie, his now wife, rush out to the car to hug him one last time and shouted that she was going to wait for him. I sighed and whispered good riddance before going back inside to finish my homework. And that was all I heard about Freddie Jackson. For the next 6 years, the place was at peace. Jackie became more dependent on alcohol that was obvious but I kept to myself as my mother had always told me and motored through school eventually getting a scholarship to the National College of Art and Design. I had totally forgotten about Freddie. His mother and father moved out of the flats into a house in the suburbs so the only reminders were Jackie and her horrible little children. I would pass by their flat everyday on the way to college and every day without fail Jackie would sneer a horrible remark about me. My mother told me she just had a chip on her shoulder because she was going nowhere in life which I suppose was true. Her sister on the other hand who was about the same age as me seemed to have a good head on her shoulders but again I was told have nothing to do with any of them so I didn't. But Freddie was right about one thing, I had to lie in college about where I lived because the first few people I told where I actually lived refused to speak to me so I had to pretend. But I got over that, at the end of the day it's about your talent not where you come from.

I got off the bus at the top of my road and walked casually down. I didn't have to be back at college until later that evening so I had a good few hours to eat and chill out at home. I was going to work on my midterm presentation while I had that significant block of time. A lot of people were standing outside our flats and I thought maybe the police were having another raid, except they were smiling. So the police certainly weren't around. I saw a huge banner hanging from our floor that read 'Welcome home Freddy!'

O Jesus, he was out wasn't he? They all stood around waiting for him to arrive clearly. They ignored me as usual; I also got some of the scowls that I get every day. If you weren't into drugs or crime you were seen as an outsider but that certainly didn't bother me. I would laugh at them from cosy suburban home one day. I pushed through the crowds and walked up the stairs and just as I got to our floor I heard a car horn beeping loudly. I glanced and saw a car speed up and an older, much more intimidating Freddie emerge from the passenger seat. Clearly doing time at her Majesty's pleasure would put years on you. Although he still looked the same in some ways, same greasy hair, same tacky clothes, same dodgy choppers, same stupid aviators. His cousin who I knew to see got out of the driver's seat and smiled clearly happy to have his cousin back in his life. Jackie emerged, jumping and wrapping her legs around him, clearly no shame. Everyone cheered and the beer bottles were cracked open. I locked my front door but heard a barrage of laughter and cheering coming from up the stairs, it was going to be a long welcome home party for Freddie.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat at my desk and took out the lump of clay I had brought home to work on my midterm project. But the pumping music and noise coming from just a few doors down was making it impossible to work. I questioned whether to even go to my evening lectures, I didn't want to risk running into any of those scumbags but I figured I had to go, it was my art history lecture and I needed all the help I could get with that. So I covered my piece of clay (I had gotten nothing done, I couldn't tap into any inspiration for it with that hammering and banging coming from Freddie's place) packed my bag and got up to leave. At this stage the party had been going on for four hours and I had a feeling it would keep going. I stepped out into the chill evening air and locked the door. I grabbed my gloves and fixed them on my hands while looking down the row towards Freddie's place. A group of guys were standing outside and it looked like Freddie was wearing a pink dressing gown. They had their hands on him looking like they were ready to throw him over the balcony at any given second. I searched in my bag for my earphones hoping they would leave before I had to walk past them. Luckily just as I had found my earphones, the older man slapped Freddie on the cheek and walked away laughing, the other's following. Freddie hopped down off the balcony and looked directly up at me. He narrowed his eyes as if trying to remember where he knew me from. I grabbed my sketch pad and art history book from the ground where I had placed them and proceeded to walk towards him, I had no choice now I was going to be late. I tucked my book to my chest as I approached him. He was wearing a pink silk dressing gown; I don't even want to know what he was doing with that dirt bird missus of his. He stood in my way as I tried to get by him.

"Do I know ya?" he smiled.

"No" I mumbled trying to get around him but as I did, my sketch pad fell along with my book. He raced down and picked them up having a glance as he did so. It was 6 years ago all over again.

"You're the bird with the sketch pad from years ago!" he smiled his eyes widening looking me up and down.

"Yea…I am…Freddie how are you getting on?" I said faking politeness.

"Ah I'm grand just out today you weren't down to welcome me back" he winked.

"No I was doing college work all day"

"College? Really?" he laughed.

"Yea Art College" I said awkwardly pushing my hair behind my ear.

"Ah well fair play…I can't for the life of me remember your name" he said looking me up and down like I was a piece of meat.

"Alyson" I smiled hoping he'd let me go.

"Nice to see you again Alyson, hope we'll be seeing more of each other" he grinned holding his arms out for a hug. I didn't respond so he took it upon himself to grab me and pull me close to him. I could feel him smelling my hair and it made me physically ill.

"God Alyson you've grown up, the last time I saw you, you were only little" he said his hands running down my back "but look at you now. All grown up and beautiful" he purred in my ear as I felt his hands squeeze my arse tight. I pulled away and walked quickly away and down the stairs as he laughed to himself. I knew he was watching me the whole time.

Getting to college was a great escape from all that but the lecture didn't last long enough and I knew I would have to go home eventually and go through the whole scenario again. After a good hour or so of wasting time after my lecture I knew I had to go home. I got off the bus and walked slowly up the stairs towards my flat. I could hear the music from downstairs. It looked like everyone in the block was squished into that flat for the party. I tried to walk as quietly as possible past his door. Just as I got past the door it opened and Maggie appeared.

I smiled and glanced down as she lit a cigarette.

"Hey Alyson, were you in college?" she asked.

"Yea had an evening lecture" I said fishing for my keys.

"Ah very good, I think it's great you're doing something with your life, it's really nice to see" she smiled warmly. She was always the nicer sister.

Then I heard someone bundle around from behind her. Freddie fell out the door clearly drunk, his heavily intoxicated eyelids closing, occasionally looking between Maggie and me.

"Hey…this is the type of sandwich I like" she slurred.

Maggie snuffed out her cigarette, looked him up and down, clearly disgusted and went back inside. I fished in my bag for my keys trying to avoid looking at Freddie who I knew was staring me out of it. He had managed to put some jeans on along with a white wife beater vest.

"Baby are you gonna join the party?"

"No Freddie"

"Where were you?" he slurred falling against the wall.

"I had a lecture"

"Ah, college what a fackin' waste of time…"

"It's not actually" I snapped "means I can get out of here"

I found my keys and put them in the lock. Freddie approached as I twisted the key.

"Hmm babe you smell good"

"Freddie you're drunk go back inside, your wife is waiting for you" I said pushing him away.

I stepped inside and then saw a foot come in keeping the door ajar. Freddie forced it open and stormed in after me.

"Freddie! Get out!" I said glancing around wondering if my mother was home from work yet.

"C'mon babe…" he said reaching to me and grabbing my breasts.

"Freddie!" I screamed.

Suddenly Jackie appeared in the doorway and started yelling but not at Freddie, at me.

"You slut! He's only back one day and you're already chasing after him!"

Then Maggie appeared behind her and pulled her back before she attacked me.

"Freddie, get out!" shouted Maggie as she dragged Jackie back towards their apartment. Freddie stepped back outside with that evil grin before pouting his lips towards me and whispering "See you soon baby" and he was gone. I slammed the door and locked it immediately falling down against the wall, shivering. Freddie was only back five minutes and I was already sitting in my hallway, shaking and feeling violated.

I stayed in my house for the next few days, locking myself in my room trying to work on my project. My mother knocked wondering why I hadn't left for college.

"What's up, it's not like you to skip college" she said sitting on my bed.

"Nothing" I said cutting bits of clay.

"I know you…something happened"

"Nothin' Mam!" I snapped "I'm just trying to get this project done and I don't have time for all this"

I cut and snipped at the clay still not knowing what I was going to sculpt.

"Ok…well I'm going out to a play tonight is that alright?"

"Yea Mam that's fine, I'll be here"

She got up, kissed my forehead and left. I punched the pile of clay in anger. I was angry at myself for not being able to think of anything and angry that I let Freddie get to me. I lay down on my bed, drifting in and out of sleep until my mother came in and told me she was leaving. I nodded and she told me she turned the heating on and left the room. A couple of hours later I woke up, the heat causing a film of sweat to lace my body. It was like a sauna in the little flat. I got up to turn off the heating and saw the clay on my desk. I decided I would eat something and watch some television to relax. Just as I had my dinner ready I heard a knock on my door. I thought maybe it was my mother who forgot her key. I stupidly opened the door and saw Freddie standing there with that stupid grin on his face, a suit jacket on and a vest. He held a cheap bottle of champagne holding it towards me.

"Hey babe look I'm sorry I think we off on the wrong foot" he said clearly wanting to be asked in and when I didn't he took it upon himself to walk in anyway. I closed the door and walked behind him as he settled himself in quite happily sitting on my couch. I stood in the doorway not wanting anything to do with him.

"C'mon sweetie, sit beside me" he said patting my couch.

"No Freddie, I think you should go. My mother is going to be home soon" I lied.

"Ah babe now that is simply just not true. I know mama is out for the night" he winked.

I reluctantly sat beside him as he scooted over, his hand on my leg.

"God I can't get over how big you've gotten" he smirked staring at my chest.

"Yea well six years will do that"

But then I got that feeling he was finished talking. He flicked my hair back and leaned his head down towards my neck. I heard him breathing heavily in my ear and then I felt his lips brush off my neck giving me goose bumps. Something in my stomach dropped and I knew this was going to end badly…


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I'm so glad people have been able to find this story even though The Take isn't actually on FanFiction but thanks for the reviews and adding it your story alert and if you know anyone that would like it sure might as well let them know ;) Also I have some other stories based on Tom Hardy's amazing other characters like Warrior and The Dark Knight Rises just in case you wanted to check them out and I'm working on other ones as well that will be up soon so watch this space :) Hope you guys like this chapter :)**

**-Sailor**

His hand rested on my knee and then it snaked up my leg.

"Freddie" I growled.

"Babe I'm gonna ride you fit" he growled in my ear.

"Freddie get your hands off me!" I said pushing him away and getting up. "Freddie…I'm serious…I'm not having this you're just a worthless piece of shit! And I'm not letting you touch me!" I screamed.

Suddenly his expression changed and he dragged his hands over his face, his eyes looking slightly watery.

"You know what; you're right, sorry babe. I'm just a bit all over the place since I got out, if I'm being honest…" he said his fingers digging into his clenched eyes.

That was unexpected…

"What?" I said my breath hitching in my throat.

"Just so weird being out…and then…" but then he looked up and his eyes clouded over.

"Never mind…keep the champagne" he said getting up.

For a second there, Freddie Jackson seemed almost human and showed some sort of emotion. This was something I wasn't used to seeing. He walked to the door, opened it and then something just came out before I could even stop it.

"Freddie…if you ever want to talk I'm here. I know…I know what it's like not to have anyone to talk too…" I said standing awkwardly in the door frame.

He nodded looking down at the ground before closing the door.

* * *

The next morning I got up early for a lecture and was racing down the stairs when I saw Freddie's cousin standing by his car smoking.

"Is Freddie up there?"

"I don't know" I snapped running past him and down to the bus stop. I was standing there for a few minutes when I saw his cousin's car drive past before it stopped and I saw Freddie step out.

"Need a lift?" he smiled. But it wasn't his sleazy smile he does with everyone, this seemed slightly different.

"No I'm fine" I smiled the bus coming down the road.

"Alright, see you later babe" he said before getting back in the car.

Ok now I know exactly what you're thinking clearly Freddie Jackson is an amazing actor who can turn it on and off as he pleases and was only doing that to get inside my pants. And while this thought did go through my head numerous times, there was something raw about the shred of emotion he showed me in the flat. Maybe Freddie Jackson was just acting like we all do at some stage in our lives. On the other hand, there is a very real possibility he's an Oscar winning actor and once he gets his way he'll kick me to the curb like every other woman he's ever known, but I still held my belief that there was something more to Freddie.

I didn't see Freddie for the rest of the day, or the rest of the week actually. It didn't bother me that much. I figured he had enough 'business' to keep himself occupied. I ran into Jackie one afternoon and she looked as rough as ever, she looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and stunk of whiskey, her dirty roots stuck out shining with grease.

"You think you're so great don't you?" she sneered taking a puff of her smoke.

"Shut up Jackie" I said opening my door.

"He won't fuck you, you know!" she yelled as I slammed my door.

"What's that Jackie one saying?" my mother said obviously hearing the tail end of the conversation.

"Nothing, just being a cow as usual"

She sighed heavily running her fingers over her creased forehead.

"You better not be hanging out with that Freddie Jackson…" she said in the fierce tone he uses when she wants to put the frighteners in me.

"Mam, have you seen me, at any point in time, with Freddie?" I snapped.

"No…but now he's out I know he's going to be sniffing around" she said shrugging her shoulders and stirring the pasta sauce.

"Do you not think I'm stupid or something? I know what he's like and I'm not gonna get involved!"

"Well make sure you don't! I tried to shelter you from all that and having Freddie Jackson locked away helped…and now he's out…but I know his type…he's a worm, he'll work his way in anywhere"

"Mam, just drop it will you?"

"Fine…o there was a phone call for you"

"From who?"

"Tommy from college, I told him you'd ring him back"

"O yea, it's his birthday tonight and he wants us all to go out" I said sifting through the mail.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know, suppose I should ring him back"

I took the phone off the wall and dialled his number. I knew my mother was slightly suspicious so I made a point to talk with her in the room. She heard all the details…the Vortex, tonight 9 o' clock.

"Satisfied?" I said hanging up.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" she said pretending she wasn't listening at all.

* * *

At 8.45 I raced around the flat grabbing everything I needed, my heels clattering around loudly on the wooden floors. Tommy and the gang were already in town so I had to hurry. I eventually managed to get everything together and run down the concrete steps into the taxi. When we got there we all wished Tommy a happy birthday and the alcohol started flowing.

By 2.30am we were seeing double. The music pumped in our heads as we downed more and more shots of tequila. I noticed a guy starting to talk to Tommy at the bar. He was about our age, wore a white hat and a horrible green tracksuit top, clearly trying to be something he's not. I could hear a slight Windsor twang to his accent that I immediately picked up on while the rest were oblivious. Tommy leaned over and shouted in my ear so I could hear him.

"He wants to sell us drugs"

I nodded my head from side to side and the guy pouted before whispering something else to Tommy.

Now, these guys from college have a very funny way of looking at drugs. Since they don't see the long lasting damage living next door to them like I do, they don't see it as any harm to do a few lines or pills from time to time. They all come from middle class suburban areas so in other words, they're wrapped in a bubble.

"Tommy no" I said grabbing his arm.

"Ah it's grand it's just a couple of pills" he smiled.

The rest nodded their heads in agreement and the drug pusher got us all to lean in so we could hear him.

"We'll have to go upstairs to get some…I've run out"

That's convenient…

So like lambs to the slaughter we walked up the steel steps leading to an office. I figured I'd go along to protect these idiots who I called my friends from something they didn't really understand. We all piled in and the pusher was giving it large to a group of guys on the couch, what a poser. Then I saw Freddie. He sat in his pin stripped blazer, gold dripping from his neck in the form of his knuckleduster necklace, blowing smoke rings watching this kid prance up and down in front of him like he was someone special. I stood slightly behind Tommy so he wouldn't see me.

"Hey we need more stuff" he smiled brightly.

Suddenly I saw all my friends faces drop. Three guys in the room were packing. These kids weren't used to this.

"Who the fack do you think you are?" sneered Freddie. "What do you think you're doing bringing these up here?!" he suddenly roared.

"Freddie…"

"You facking arsehole! You crack on like you're hard; you're from facking Windsor man!"

Then I heard a gun being cocked and suddenly Tommy and everyone else was backing away.

"Freddie man…I was just…"

"Freddie" I called coming out from behind Tommy. I didn't like the young fella but he didn't deserve to be shot and I felt kind of sorry for him since I knew he wasn't actually tough.

Freddie looked me up and down as if he was imagining me there. Out of the corner of my eye I saw all the heads of my group turn to look at me. I know this animal? How could I be associated with these kinds of people?

"Guys, go back downstairs" I told everyone. They didn't even need to be told again. Once they saw I could handle Freddie they were gone within minutes, none even staying to ask questions or wonder how I was going to get out.

"Alyson, what the fack are you doing here?"

"It's a nightclub…" I said my eyes shifting to the gun.

He suddenly grabbed the young fella who had suddenly lost his tough guy accent and pinned against the table.

"You're not gonna shoot him are you?" asked another guy in a black top, obviously some sort of body guard.

"Maybe yea" spoke Freddie as he pointed the gun to his chest. His eyes told me everything, watering slightly but they were darker than usual, they were different to what they usually look like. Speckles of spit landed on his chin as he growled like an animal.

"Freddie…" I called again.

He looked back at me then moved the gun to his shoulder and fired. He screamed and tossed in pain while Freddie merely just walked away. It was only now I noticed Jimmy was sitting on the couch watching this unfold. Freddie stormed straight over to me and grabbing my arm dragged me into a corner.

"I'm sorry Freddie, I tried to stop them from coming up here and getting involved but they're stupid posh kids, you know the kind they want it all, the buzz and thrill of the criminal life while having the safety net of mammy and daddy's home and bank account"

"What the fack are you doing here!" he growled.

"We came here for my friend's birthday…" I stuttered. I was starting to get scared by his tone of voice. His grip tightened on my arm and I was getting the feeling I should have legged it with my mates.

"Freddie you're hurting me…" I said my voice shaking.

His eyes glared into mine, his lower lip twitching. He rubbed his nose, blinked then shook his head. Then, out of nowhere, his hand collided with my face. I stumbled back and fell flat on my arse on the cold concrete. He just stood over me, spat on the ground beside me and turned back.

"Now get the fack out!" he sneered, some of guys he was with sniggering slightly as I crawled down the stairs looking like a cheap slag, my eye make-up running down my face with the tears. I clutched my cheek that was beginning to go numb with pain and adrenaline trying to get out of there as soon as possible before he changed his mind and did something worse.

Ok, maybe I was slightly wrong about Freddie Jackson.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! New chapter hope you guys like it. Thanks for all my reviewers and readers I love you all :D**

**-Sailor**

When I eventually got downstairs, half of the group had gone home, too scared to stay and see what happened. Tommy saw me and helped me to my feet and we all decided it was time to go home.

It was about 4am by the time I got out of the club, waited at the taxi rank and eventually managed to get a taxi. I tip toed passed Freddie's door in case he was there and heard me. My face was still really sore and even the cool crisp night air didn't even make it any better. I twisted the key in the lock slowly and opened the door kicking my shoes off under the hall table before collapsing onto my bed, tears still streaming down my face and fell asleep just as the sun was rising.

In the stark light of day, my face looked even worse. I examined it in the bathroom mirror for most of the morning while my mother cooked breakfast shouting wondering what I was doing in there. I knew she'd see it, how could she not? It was a massive red hand print walloped into my face and it was too sore to put make up over it. I strolled into the kitchen avoiding eye contact but when she stopped speaking I knew she had seen it.

"What happened to you?"

"Ah it's just a slap mam, nothing serious"

She dropped the spatula she was holding and knelt down examining the side of my face.

"O my God! Who did it?"

"Just some girl, she thought I was chatting up her boyfriend when I actually wasn't and she just went for me" I lied.

"What nightclub was this?"

"The Vortex"

"Well you are never going there again!"

"I know I'm definitely not"

"I've heard that place is a kip alright…"

"It is that alright, I only went because it was my mate's birthday"

"Here I might have some cream for it…" she said opening the cabinet door that was just above the cooker. Just as I was starting to eat my breakfast I heard a knock come on the front door. I got up and mumbled that I was gonna get it while she sifted through all the medications she had accumulated over the years searching for a cream. I unhinged the chain I had put on last night and opened the door revealing Freddie with that stupid grin plastered on his face.

"A'right darlin'?"

"Freddie" I sneered stepping out and closing the door before my mother heard him. "What are you doing here?"

"Look I just wanted to say sorry is all" he said looking at his handprint that was etched into my face. "I was out of my bin on coke and I didn't think it was actually you" he laughed.

"It's not funny" I mumbled.

"You're right I'm sorry babe" he said opening his arms for a hug.

"You're not sorry" I snapped opening the door.

"I am!" he said pulling my arm back "I truly am…it was just a shock seeing you there if I'm being honest…you were the last person I expected to see but I still shouldn't have done that…it was wrong" he said swallowing hard. Clearly apologies are not his forte. "I didn't mean to hurt you…I was just whacked out of my head that's all"

I still wasn't buying this and he knew it.

"Look…" he sighed, clearly his brain was still foggy from all the coke or he wasn't very good at putting his emotions into words. "I know I hurt a lot of women…and my track record isn't great but I'm being totally honest with you, I did not mean to hurt you last night. I regretted it almost immediately. I saw you tip by the window this morning at 4am and I was going to come out to you but I thought you'd be too frightened and might have lost the plot"

Which was a fair assumption, I'll give him that.

"I am so sorry…I don't know what else to say. That little facking twat who brought you up was pissing me off all night and then he just crossed the line" he said pressing his fingers into his clenched eyes. "But I shouldn't have taken it out on you" he said pulling me into him and hugging me close. For a moment I felt slightly repulsed by him but then I felt an unnerving sense of safety being clutched to his rock hard chest, his tacky gold rings catching in my hair as he ran his hand over the back of my head. I felt him smell my hair like he did one of the first times I met him but this time it didn't make me feel ill. After what seemed like forever, but not an awkward forever, he let me go. He kissed my raw, sore cheek gently before turning and walking away, down the concrete steps and out onto the street. I turned back feeling my insides shake and walked back into my home. My mother was standing in the kitchen with a scowl on her face.

"Who was that?"

"That? It was just one of the neighbours"

I wasn't technically lying.

"What did they want?"

"Nothing important" I said sitting down and finishing my breakfast.

"Really?" she sneered.

"Yea…" I said drinking my tea avoiding her glaring eyes.

"Why the fuck are you lying!" she suddenly screamed.

"Mam, I'm not lying"

"That was that scumbag wasn't it!"

"No it wasn't Mam!"

"It was! I fucking saw you! I peered out the curtain and here you were fucking hugging him, what the fuck are you doing?!"

"Nothing, look I met him in the club last night and he spilled a drink all over me and he just wanted to apologise"

"I don't believe you"

"Well that's great Mam but you know what? I don't have time for this; I have college work to do"

"Alyson, sit down! We are not done talking…"

"Yes we are" I snapped slamming the door on her.

I sat at my desk with the door locked as my mother continued to barrage me with warnings while I tried to figure something to sculpt for my project as the deadline day marched ever closer. I don't know why I couldn't think of anything, normally my mind isn't that blocked but all this excess stress is clogging up my creative brain waves. Eventually my mother gave up realising I wasn't listening to her verbally bashing Freddie. After about an hour of sitting there waiting for inspiration to hit me I gave up knowing it wasn't coming. I wrapped the clay in the plastic as usual and threw it against the wall before it landed in a clump on my desk.

* * *

That night, I lay in my bed listening to my mother potter around before doing her usual routine of turning off all the lights, pulling all the curtains and putting out the fire before she went to bed. I heard her enter her room, close the door and then the springs in her bed move adjusting to her weight before she settled. We still hadn't spoken since Freddie arrived at the door. I drifted slowly into sleep feeling the warmth of my duvet engulf me. It felt like I was only asleep for a few minutes when I heard a slight banging on the front door. I glanced at my clock and saw 2.08 blink back at me. I sat up and listened hard just in case I got out of bed and was imagining it. My mother was a heavy sleeper so that certainly wouldn't wake her but I'm such a light sleeper that that would wake me up immediately. Then I heard it again and I knew I wasn't imagining it. I got up and stepped out of my room and saw a shadow under the front door. I walked warily over jumping slightly when I heard another bang.

"Alyson…" I heard someone whimper. It was Freddie. I closed over my dressing gown and opened the door. Freddie fell in stinking of alcohol and I had to catch him before he made an unholy bang that would wake even my mother up.

"Freddie!" I whispered, picking him up and closing the door.

"Alyson…" he whimpered again. The smell of drink off him was making me feel slightly intoxicated.

Then I heard my mother stirring. I dragged him into my room and placed him on my small bed which he took up most of. I went back out and peered into my mother's room. She was still asleep. I went back to Freddie and saw him trying to sit up.

"Freddie, lie down you've had a lot to drink" I said sitting on the other side of the bed. His hand found mine and he placed it on his forehead.

"Rub my head babe…"

He was sweating profusely, obviously sweating out the liquor.

"Freddie what's wrong?"

"Just Jackie…driving me facking nuts, she's not kind…like you" he slurred as I continued to rub my fingers through his hair. He moved slightly and rested his head on my lap sighing heavily.

"But she loves you Freddie…"

"No she doesn't" he snapped.

"Ssh! You're gonna wake up my mother and if she finds you here there will be serious trouble"

He didn't even know the half of it. He laughed slightly to himself.

"Why can't I find someone like you…lovely, smart and who isn't a fall down drunk"

Pot calling kettle black was all I could think. I rubbed his head and saw his eyes close in the dark. But then something came into my mind…

"She doesn't know you're here does she?"

The last thing I wanted was her banging down my door at stupid o clock in the morning waking my mother up and getting me in trouble for having Freddie drunk and in my room while I'm half dressed.

"No…she stormed off somewhere and when I saw she left I thought I'd come here…you said I could talk to you remember?"

"Yes, yes of course" I said rubbing his head. I don't know what came over me but I instinctively leaned down and kissed his forehead, my lips resting for a few seconds before retracting. He sighed heavily as if the kiss was washing away all his problems. I saw his tacky rings shine dully in the moonlight as he moved his fingers over his stomach.

"I just want a different life you know babe…an easy life" he mumbled clearly falling into a drunken sleep. When I felt his breath continue periodically I knew he was asleep so I got up, twisted the little lock just in case my mother decided to walk in tomorrow morning. I lay down beside him as he began to snore lightly and I couldn't help but smile. I rested my hand slowly on his chest, making sure I didn't wake him up. His heart beat under my hand and I felt it slow down as he fell into a deeper sleep. Then I felt my stomach jump as he made a slight noise. I rested my head on the pillow and looked at his silhouette and just as I was about to sit up thinking I had woken him by having my hand on his chest; I felt his hand fall onto my own.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to Freddie with his arm wrapped around me and drool dribbling onto my pillow. I listened for a few minutes wondering if my mother had already left for work. I didn't hear her pottering around the kitchen so it must have been after nine. I got up and climbed lightly over Freddie not wanting to wake him. I took off my dressing gown watching him the whole time in case he secretly woke up and saw me half dressed. I threw on my jeans and t shirt quickly and combed my hair. I looked out the window down the street watching for the bus. The early bus just drove by so I would be stuck on the late one. I looked over at my pile of clay, just that a pile of clay and nothing else, no masterpiece nothing. It pissed me off so much just watching it sitting there mocking me. But then I looked back between the clay and Freddie. I glanced at my watch…my first lecture wasn't really that important. I sat down, ripped the plastic off and began moulding. He was the perfect model. His face was contorted with anger, mistrust and stress while his body lay relaxed comforted by the blanket that I had thrown on him. I worked fast before he woke up and just as I was working on his face he stirred and opened his eyes blinking at me.

"What are you doing babe?" he croaked.

"Nothing…you're just an intriguing figure to observe" I said while continuing to work.

"No one has ever said that to me before…" he smiled rubbing his eyes. "Your ma gone?"

"Yea…did you want some breakfast or something?"

"What?" he asked slightly stunned.

"Well I was just thinking I could make you breakfast…"

"You would do that?"

"Yea of course" I said setting down my clay.

"Fackin' Jackie never does that for me" he growled.

He swung his legs over and got up, walking over to observe my work. He tilted his head and observed it from different angles.

"You're very talented kid" he smiled.

And just as his finger ran over the wet clay I saw him lean closer and something felt very natural. I kissed him. I didn't mean to but I couldn't help it. He kissed me back but gently, I didn't think he was even capable of being that gentle. His lips brushed off mine but then he pulled away, his eyes watering slightly.

"I have to go" he suddenly huffed walking over and unlocking the door.

Clearly something had triggered in him that he didn't like and he needed to get out as soon as humanly possible. I'm not going to lie, I felt slightly humiliated standing there as Freddie slammed the hall door leaving only the deafening silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews I'm really glad people are liking the story, makes me very happy indeed :D So here ya go new chapter. Enjoy, I love you all :)**

**-Sailor**

My sculpture went unloved for the next few days, there was no sign of Freddie and my mother and I had begun speaking again, but relations were still frosty at best. She kept a closer eye on me when she could; making sure Freddie was not sniffing around anymore. But I had a feeling what happened between us had spooked him so he went off looking for someone who wouldn't bother him emotionally and would just fuck him and by the row I witnessed one night coming home late from college, it certainly wasn't Jackie he was going to for it. I climbed the never ending stairs and heard a commotion coming from down the alley. Jackie was standing, looking like a tart I might add, in the doorway of the Jones' apartment shouting at Mrs Jones. Maggie suddenly rushed past me as I stood to observe.

"You're a facking slut! Stay away from my Freddie!"

Maggie tried to calm her down and dragged her into her flat.

"He's got someone else Maggie…" she sobbed as Maggie opened the door. "Someone serious…" she said before she was dragged inside.

I all of a sudden lost the use of my legs and I had to support myself on the balcony hearing her last statement. Can't be me she was talking about, I mean I haven't seen any sight of Freddie for days. It was weird listening to her say 'someone serious' it was hard to imagine Freddie being serious about anything let alone a person. I also noticed she seemed to be putting on a bit more weight these days; hopefully she wasn't going to be bringing another one of her little demons into the world.

* * *

Things were pretty quiet for a few weeks and it was almost like Freddie was back inside again. It was only when I walked by his flat and heard him shouting and roaring that something inside me weirdly settled knowing he was still around. I leaned into the door listening, I know I shouldn't have but Freddie was getting under my skin that much that I had to.

"You're man enough to have them but you're not man enough to love them! Just like your own father!"

"Fack off Jackie!"

"Why don't you just go back to your whore?!"

"You know why I go to her?! It's because when I'm with her I forget how shit my life is like here!" he bellowed.

"Well then fack off Freddie! We'll fend for ourselves!"

Then I heard Jackie cry out as Freddie clearly started throwing punches at her. I heard a large thud and suddenly I heard a door slam and I could hear his footsteps coming closer. I jumped and ran from the door before he threw it open as I pretended to open my door. I looked sideways at him as I twisted the key in the lock but said nothing. I had just heard him beat up his wife, I wasn't about to be the first to strike up a conversation. He came over and stood inches behind me, feeling his breath on my neck. I glanced down and saw his hands with some cuts and grazes embedded into his skin.

"Babe…" he whispered.

"Freddie, I heard you hitting your wife" I whispered.

"Babe…she drives me to it. She doesn't get me…like you" he said placing his hands on my shoulder.

"Freddie…when she was talking about your…whore, who was she talking about?"

"She's just jealous babe" he said the tip of his nose running along my neck.

"I'm sorry Freddie" I said stepping inside "If my presence in your life is causing you to beat your wife then I can't have that on my conscience. Not even Jackie deserves that"

I heard him inhale deeply and I'm ashamed to admit it but I braced myself for a punch, but nothing came. He just kissed my neck lightly and then stormed off towards the stairs and was gone. Even from inside my flat, I could hear Jackie cry loudly and then Maggie shouting "He's an animal Jackie!" I went into my room and just stuck my earphones in my ears.

* * *

Soon the night before my presentation was upon me. I sat at my desk looking at my clay Freddie not entirely sure what the next step was. Then I heard a knock on my door. I raced to the door and pulled it open revealing Maggie. I was secretly hoping it would be Freddie, as much as I hated to admit it I kinda wished I hadn't said what I said to him, I missed seeing him.

"Maggie, what's up?" I said genuinely shocked by her presence, she has never called here before.

"Alyson I am sorry for dropping by like this but have you seen Jackie at all today?"

"Eh yea I saw her this morning, I was getting the paper and I saw her hobbling down the street in her heels"

"O god, ok…I'll have to go pick up the kids from school"

"Where's Freddie?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

"Fucked if I know…probably out shagging around. He's a fucking animal"

"Ah he can't be that bad"

She suddenly looked at me like I was a piece of shit on her shoe.

"What?"

"Well, whenever I've talked to him he was fine"

"Did you not see what he did to her?" she sneered.

"Yea I know…but I'm sure he has a different side to him…"

"Freddie Jackson is scum!" she sneered. "And if you think otherwise you're just a stupid little girl!"

She stormed off and I went back inside. Ok, not my best move trying to defend the indefensible but the side I was shown was always in my mind when discussing him.

I went back in and stared at my sculpture…it was only half finished.

_"He's an animal!" _ That was all that was ringing through my head.

I took another piece of clay, inspiration suddenly hitting me. I sculptured another part to stick behind my Freddie. It was a tiger creeping up behind the back of the sleeping Freddie, its mouth open over his head with its teeth slightly touching off his ear. After about three hours of working, it was done and it looked unreal. Freddie Jackson was an untapped well of inspiration.

"Wonderful! I love it! What's he called?" my lecturer said examining it, especially the genitals I added in at the end just to show him stripped and exposed to the core.

"Freddie"

"It's very good, elaborate"

"The tiger represents the many sides of the man. On the one hand we have this man whose face shows anger, stress and mistrust while his body lay relaxed as he sleeps and the tiger shows his dark side that rears its ugly head from time to time. He fights it off but sometimes he can't help it and it bites taking over his entire being"

"I love it!" she exclaimed and I noticed the mole that's usually on the left side of her face moved to the right, typical art teacher, mad as the head of a brush.

"A!" she suddenly shouted.

She just pulled that grade out of the air but I wasn't complaining.

"Is this taken from real life?"

"Em yea slightly, well he is a real figure"

"O?" she smirked glancing at the genitals again.

"Well that is taken from imagination" I laughed. You could only have this conversation with an art teacher.

"Ah so you haven't seen it yet?"

"No not yet" I said going slightly red.

"Well maybe when he sees how generous you've been to him, things might be different and remember treat it like a work of art, it needs to be treated with respect and gently caressed and moulded like a piece of clay…" she winked.

"NEXT!" she suddenly yelled. I picked up my work and placed it in the bag while the next student brought up his work which she asked to elaborate on too. I had gotten my grade which I was happy about so I left quite chuffed with myself. I decided to reward myself with a cigarette. I had just lit up when I heard his voice.

"So this is your college!" he smiled brightly, his aviator shades hiding the obvious water that were involuntarily falling down his cheeks from time to time.

"Freddie…what are you doing here?" he said coming up and hugging me.

"Ya know what, I had a…business meeting down the road and I decided to take a stroll through here see if I can see ya and here you facking are!"

I noticed his loud swearing was attracting the attention of the other students and the security guards.

"Freddie…"

"Darlin' I know I haven't been around and I'm sorry about that especially…the way things went the last time" his tone suddenly changing. He shook his head reaching into his pocket and taking out a tiny white packet and I knew immediately what it was.

"Freddie, put that away" I sneered.

"What babe…" he said shaking some of it out onto the back of his hand and snorting it loudly.

"Freddie…the security over there are watching us"

"Yea and…" he said whipping off his shades and glaring at me his pupils becoming more diluted by the second.

"And I kinda have to go to school here"

"Babe…it's no big deal is it? Maybe you should try some" he grinned.

Why is he so different out in public?

"Freddie" I said shaking my head disgusted by him even offering me some.

"Babe" he pouted. I noticed his eyes darting to the bag under my arm.

"What's this?" he said smiling warmly. That was the smile I was used to seeing, the one that made me forget everything he had done.

"It's my sculpture"

"The one of me, can I see it?"

"Em…yea I suppose" I said unwrapping the bag from it.

He glanced down at it, moving his head from side to side.

"Wow! It's really good. I'm also loving how accurate you were" he laughed.

See this was the Freddie that I wanted to everyone to see. Maybe if he was like this more often people wouldn't have such a negative image of him but maybe he figured it was just for me.

"What's with the tiger?"

"O em I just know some people have this raw animalistic side that they keep hidden…and I just thought it would add something extra to the piece"

"I love it" he said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Can I give you a lift home?"

"Em…" I was a bit wary to be honest since I just saw him lashing coke up his nose.

"C'mon what happens if you break this on the bus? Nah can't be having that" he said leading me out the gates and to his car. I sat in but I was still a bit nervous considering he has a side that is quite accustomed to hitting women…hopefully the tiger doesn't bite this time.

When we got to the block I noticed he parked his car just out of sight of the front of the building which scared me a little before he killed the engine.

"Freddie what are we doing here?"

"Babe, what was your Da like?"

"What?"

"Your Da" he said turning his body towards mine.

"Well he wasn't great, I don't really remember a lot about him. He drank and gambled…partly the reason we live here…he was never any good to us. Why, what about your dad?"

"Well it was my Ma and Da's anniversary the other night and he brought this slut he's been banging, she's like 20 and it just…it just killed me" he said wiping his eyes.

"My Ma was a saint to him…and he treats her like that?!"

Ok…was he seriously saying this to me, considering what he's like when he's not with me?

"And you know what he said to me? He said if I spoke about her like she was a slut he would finish me off himself…my own father!" he screamed.

I placed my hand on his shoulder as he stuck his fingers in his closed eyes.

"That's awful Freddie"

He leaned closer to me so I started to rub his head, I know that relaxes him.

"My old man was scum"

"But he's still your father" I whispered.

"I know…but my mam doesn't deserve this"

"I think I should pay him a visit"

"Freddie, don't do what I think you're gonna do. He's still your father"

He looked up at me and I saw hatred burn through his eyes. I kissed his forehead trying to calm him down.

"Maybe try and talk to him"

He clenched his eyes and I watched as his brow knitted together. I reached over and wiped the tears that were forming at the edges of his eyes. They ripped open as he sighed heavily and I knew he had calmed down but only slightly. The hatred in his eyes had disappeared. I saw him lick his lips as he leaned in closer and kissed me.

"You're not an animal Freddie" I whispered into his mouth.

He glanced down knowing exactly where I heard that from.

"Well if I am, you seem to be the only one who can facking tame the animal" he laughed to himself holding my face between his hands.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Thank you to all my readers, reviewers and followers. I just want to say that I have fudged with the timeline and it has been pointed out (which I appreciate :)) I probably should have said that at the beginning of the last chapter but I just want to say that it's on purpose, don't worry ;) So here we go, enjoy! :D I love you all x**

**-Sailor**

When I was getting out of the car, Freddie told me he had some business to take care so he drove back towards the city centre as I walked up the steps of the flats. I barely even got to my door when my mother flung it open nearly taking it off its hinges. She looked down over the balcony as Freddie's black Mercedes sped off.

"Were you with that little scumbag?" she sneered.

"What?"

"Freddie!"

"No I wasn't…I was in college…I had to bring in my art project" I said holding it out. I wasn't actually lying after all.

"Funny because when I was out here looking over and I saw that black Mercedes pull up with a familiar blonde head in the passenger seat"

"Mam…I get the bus home"

"Don't you dare stand there and lie to me!"

"I'm not…"

"I tried so hard to keep you away from that life! And now you're just waltzing straight into it! What is wrong with you?"

"Mam…you don't understand"

"O I understand perfectly well…you are a stupid little girl who doesn't appreciate anything I do for you! Do you think Freddie Jackson will look after you? Have you not seen his wife lately?"

"I know…"

"No you don't. So I've just got off the phone with your aunty Rose and I think its best you go stay with her for a while"

"What? No!"

"You'll still be able to go to college but you'll be living out of here. I think it's for the best"

"But Mam…"

"Look I don't want you to go either but this is the sacrifice I'm willing to make to stop you from going down that slippery slope" she said rubbing her forehead.

"Mam you can't send me away" I said going over to hug her.

"I have to…she'll be here tomorrow morning to collect you" she said walking into her room and closing the door.

I went into my room and saw some cases with some of my belongings already in them waiting for me to continue. I sighed, wiping away some tears and packed the rest of my stuff.

* * *

I dragged the cases down the stairs and saw my aunty sitting in her car. I threw the bags into the boot looking up at my floor. My mother had decided to stay in the kitchen while I left and it was too early for Freddie or any of his gang to be up, that's if he was even home.

"Hi Aunty Rose" I smiled, a fake smile but still.

"Hello my dear, how are you?" she said hugging me close.

"I'm ok…"

"Well I think you're going to really like it at my house"

Aunty Rose never had any kids of her own but she was always happy with her expensive vases and flash cars instead of a family. She had a long string of perpetual toy boys who she would ring when she needed someone to accompany her to her social evenings. Don't get me wrong, she was a lovely woman she was just the polar opposite of my mother who always wanted a man and a family and it all just blew up in her face. She lived in a big house in the suburbs of London. As we drove out from the city I threw my head back against the headrest and stared out the window, the last thing I wanted was to start a conversation.

"Your mother thinks it would be better living out here and I must say I agree. No choking exhaust fumes out here, lovely clean air help the inspiration flow" she said as we got onto the motorway, the shadows of the city falling behind us.

I didn't respond, just continued to stare out the window, the countryside now beginning to creep up.

"Your mother says you're doing well in college and that you're quite the little artist"

I remembered my sculpture of Freddie was sitting in my backpack that was on the back seat.

"She also told me about Freddie…"

My head rolled over to look at her. "What did she say about him? I can guess…"

"She just said he's this scumbag living down from you and has been causing trouble"

"He hasn't been causing any trouble" I mumbled.

"You shouldn't be hanging around with the likes of him…don't worry there's no one like that around me" she smiled turning off an exit and down a long street filled with evergreen trees and shrubbery. Certainly wasn't like where I had just come from. We pulled into a huge gravel driveway leading up to a large red brick house. I got out, got my stuff and walked up to the huge door as my aunty ranted and raved about how amazing it will be to have me here, young blood will liven the place up and how we're going out for a drink tonight to celebrate. I sighed loudly and dragged my possessions into my new home.

* * *

**6 months later: **

"Rose I'm home!" I called as I threw my keys on the table along with my bag as my voice echoed through the huge house that had become my home.

She waltzed into the kitchen in her silk dressing gown and a cigarette in her hand. Clearly one of her toy boys had just left.

"Good to have you home darling, how was your day"

"Oven blew up today…" I said filling a glass from the tap.

"O God, was it you?"

"No, it was some other girl but just means my clay won't be able to go into the oven for another week or so"

"Will it matter?"

"No won't make that much of a difference" I said taking a long drink. "So how was your day?"

"Good, I've booked a holiday to the South of France for a week with Martin"

Martin I'm assuming is one of her toy boys. She usually doesn't use their name.

"O very good, when are you going?"

"Next week"

"That soon?"

"Well yea we just decided to go, you know on a whim!" she laughed.

"Well good for you, I hope you have a good time"

"Will you be ok here on your own?"

"Of course"

She hasn't taken a holiday since I got here; she must be itching to get away considering this is a woman who goes on a holiday nearly every two months.

"Don't worry about me Aunty Rose; I'll be fine besides I have a lot of college work to do" I smiled.

I threw my book bag onto the desk in the study which Rose has allowed me to use as a studio to house all the work I do at college. I picked my new project out of the bag careful that nothing fell off it; it was still wet after all. I put it on the window sill and the sun caught something in the corner. I walked over and pulled the cover off it. It was Freddie. I hadn't looked at it in months. I had actually forgotten it was there. But I hadn't forgotten Freddie; I did miss him I got to say. But Rose was keeping such a close eye on me I couldn't do anything. I threw the cover back over it and sat down at the desk working on my art history essay.

* * *

I got up early to see Aunty Rose off as her toy boy picked her up to bring them to the airport. I finally got to see the infamous Martin; he looked about my age I'm not going to lie. Fair play Aunty Rose I gotta say.

"Ok now don't burn the place down and if you do don't be here when I get back" she said hugging and kissing me as she clicked her fingers at Martin to take her case.

"Don't worry I'll be fine here and so will your house"

I waved her off and went back inside to work on my project. It was nice to have the place to myself I must admit. I could finally hear myself think unlike when Rose is here, she's always yapping and talking away so it was nice to give my mind a break. I glanced at the corner where the tiger of Freddie was sticking out. I shook my head ignoring the thoughts that were coming into my head. I worked for about an hour with Freddie constantly looking at me. I got up and went into the kitchen to make some tea. But then I grabbed my coat and keys and found myself locking the door and heading to the bus stop.

By the time I got to the flats it was mid-afternoon and I couldn't stop the feeling of dread coming over me. I walked into the square and I got a few looks and people whispering about where I was gone and stuff. I simply ignored them and walked up to the second floor. I ran my hand along the balcony walking past Freddie's door. Still looked the same, I didn't hear anyone inside so I moved along. I fished through my bag for my keys that I had taken the day I left and twisted it in the lock. My mother wasn't here; the place looked exactly the same. I peeked into my room. It was still the same, stripped just the way I left it. I don't even know why I came back here, what was I expecting to find? My mother standing welcoming me back with open arms? I wish, as much as I liked where I lived now I did miss home. I went into my mother's room and lay on her bed closing my eyes. It was nice to be back. About 20 minutes later I knew I had to leave before I either fall asleep or can't bring myself to leave. I grabbed a piece of bread and headed out the door turning to lock it. Just as I locked the door, chewing on my bread I saw Jimmy emerge with a panicked look on his face followed by Freddie. Something inside my stomach dropped when I saw him. He wore a light coloured suit with a pink shirt and brown wicker type shoes, typical Freddie. He turned around saying something to Jimmy, looked at me and looked away just as fast before doing a double take.

"Alyson…" he said as if he was imagining I was there. His eyes went teary like I remembered.

"Freddie…we have to go. Jackie's about to pop and we have to collect mam still…"

"Hi Freddie" I smiled meekly.

"Where…where have you been?" he said breathlessly.

"It's…complicated"

"Was it college or somethin'?"

"Freddie…we have to go" urged Jimmy again.

"Jimmy why don't you wait in the car, man?" snapped Freddie.

"No c'mon we gotta pick up Mam remember"

"Fack off Jimmy!"

"Is Jackie having the baby?" I asked.

"Yes and we have to go now" said Jimmy.

"Are you back for good?" said Freddie flashing me with that winning smile.

"No…I'm not even supposed to be here now"

"Freddie…"

"Jimmy! Can you just shut the fack up for five minutes and wait downstairs" he suddenly sneered.

Jimmy looked between me and Freddie and reluctantly walked down the stairs.

"Where did you go?" he said suddenly stepping towards me.

"I…" I wasn't going to tell him but I knew he'd know I was lying. "I'm living with my aunty…my mother thought it would be a better move for me"

"Because of me yea?" he said looking down.

"I know my mam doesn't get it…"

"I called to your place one night alright and she ran me"

"I didn't even get to tell you, she sprung it on me after…after she saw me getting out of your car that day you dropped me home from college"

"I've missed you" he said rubbing his watery eyes.

"I've missed you too Freddie"

I heard a car horn beep loudly from downstairs.

"You should go Freddie…"

"Yea…where are you living now?"

"Down in Oaktree…426 Maplewood Drive"

"Wow, posh!" he jeered and I laughed for the first time in months. "Babe…I gotta go, Jackie is gonna pop…" he leaned in and hugged me close "There's always something in the way…" he mumbled. He gave me a deep kiss and it stunned me slightly.

"I'll see you later babe" he winked.

"Bye Freddie" I said as he walked down the stairs before he turned and flashed another smile at me.

Something in my stomach jumped and I felt now I could leave happily and go back to my new home without that usual empty hollow feeling.

* * *

I got back to the house, the sun beginning to fade slowly. I sat down watching television for the rest of the evening quite content before falling asleep in front of the fire. But I was woken up by a series of knocks on the big oak door. I pulled myself up, walked over to the door and stood on my toes looking through the peephole. It was Freddie. I threw the door open but stopped dead in my tracks. He had a dark, murderous look in his eyes that I wasn't used to seeing. They weren't the eyes that I liked looking into. I looked away and down to his neck and saw it was splashed with blood along with his clothes.

"Can I come in babe?" he panted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! Hope things are well :) So here we go, new chapter hope everyone likes it and as ever I thank everyone for reading and reviewing. Love you all and see you next chapter :D**

**-Sailor**

"Freddie, what happened?"

"He's living with that slag!" he said walking past me through the hall and into the kitchen. It was like he's lived here his whole life.

"Who?"

"My aul fella!"

"O…"

"He just upped and left! Just left her there!"

"Yea…but Freddie, the blood…"

"He needed to be taught a lesson" he growled.

"What did you do?"

He propped himself up against the sink staring out the window. I stood over behind the chair trying to avoid looking at the blood dripping down his neck which made my stomach turn.

"Shoula seen her, arse like an apple tipping around designing the place while my old man is sitting in shed telling me how much of a ride she is and Ma sitting at home crying her eyes out!"

"Freddie what did you do?"

"Wait and see if she'll stay with him now with half his head carved out" he smirked.

"O my god" I said covering my mouth with my hand.

He took off his jacket flinging it onto the chair and I noticed spots of blood sitting on the right shoulder.

"I had to do it babe! My dad is a useless bastard" he said throwing himself into the chair. I sat beside him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"I know…"

"I remember when I was a kid and I came home after buying a new jacket…and he went mad for some reason saying I'm pissing my money against the wall while bills need to be paid here. I got to wear the jacket once or twice but every time I came in wearing it I could see it was pissing him off more and one night I put it on the chair and returned from the kitchen to see it smouldering on the fire, fackin arsehole"

"Freddie" I whispered rubbing his back. I got up and picked up a cloth from the drawer running it under the hot tap for a few seconds. I rang it out into the sink and held his face as I wiped the blood off his cheek. His moist eyes drooped over as he snorted and turned his head to face me.

"Did he really deserve that?"

"Honestly? I don't know…but I just saw red and how can he treat his own wife like that?"

I guess that old saying is true; you can't see the wood from the trees.

"I act now and think later" he said the bottom of his palms being pressed into his eyes. "But you should have seen my mum, sitting there crying her eyes out over that scumbag"

There were a few moments of silence because well if I'm being totally honest I had no idea what I could say to that.

"Freddie…do you ever talk to Jackie about stuff like this?"

He snorted loudly and looked at me through his wet eyes.

"No…she wouldn't listen"

"Are you sure?"

"Yea I am…besides she wouldn't know what to say, she's stupid and if I came to her with all this she'd probably laugh in my face"

He looked at me as I continued to rub his back.

"Why is there a problem with me with coming here?"

"No, not at all Freddie, I was just wondering why it's me you chose to tell all this to…that's all"

"I don't know…there was something about you even when we were kids I remember you seemed different to everyone else on that block. It was like…I don't know how to describe it"

"Like you had an instant rapport with me?"

"What's that mean?"

"Connection"

"Exactly…see you even know how to describe it" he laughed. "And I've never met anyone like that before and talking about feelings and all that is easy with you as long as I don't start sounding like a spa" he smiled.

"You're far from being a spa Freddie"

"I find it hard to show this side of me to people…ya know?"

"I know exactly what you mean"

"Well no one else seems to" he said wiping his eyes.

"Well I'll be here babe"

He looked at me and smiled, it was the first time I've called him that before but it seemed appropriate in this circumstance. He was a seriously complicated man and I had a feeling I had just scratched the surface to be honest.

"I'm tired babe…and in general tired of everything..."

I finished wiping the blood off his face and neck before putting his arm around my shoulder and walking him upstairs.

"You can sleep in my room" I said opening the door and laying him on the bed. "Give me your shirt and I'll wash it for you"

He sat up and obliged leaving him sitting there the top half exposed. He lay down sighing heavily.

"Babe, lie beside me please"

I sat down and saw his hand snake into mine. I looked and saw his eyes had cleared a bit; the murderous look had vanished so I felt comfortable enough to lie down.

"Does anyone know you're here Freddie?"

He nodded his head as his eyelids droop slightly. He pushed himself up onto his shoulder leaning over towards me slightly. His lips brushed across mine and his hand trailed across my stomach.

"Freddie…"

"Ssh…just let me try something" he whispered changing his head position his forehead creasing together as if he was trying to figure something complicated out. His face came towards mine again and kissed me. Freddie retracted and looked into my eyes.

"You ok?"

"Yea fine" I lied.

My heart was beating through my chest so hard I thought it was going to hop out and hit him. He took this as his queue to shift his position so his knees were on either side of my hips, digging into the mattress. His breath was hot on my face and I tried to calm my own breath and heart rate. Both his eyes looked between mine and I saw his mouth quietly say something to himself. I didn't hear what it was I just watched his lips move. I felt a hard bulge pressed against my crotch but it was like Freddie didn't even notice, his stare was locked with mine.

"People call me a cold heartless monster…"

"Hmm I know…but I know you're not" I said rubbing his cheek.

"Someone who is not capable of loving anyone"

I held his face in my hands and brought his face to mine. "I know that's not true"

I kissed him as his hands found their way up my t shirt and the air suddenly felt thick. His gold chains fell against my chest causing me to jump with the cold. I felt him unzip his trousers and then pull down my tracksuit bottoms as I whipped off my string top. His plump lips trailed along my chest to my belly button before returning back up. This was it, the point of no return. Was I about to become Alice falling down the rabbit hole into this world that Freddie Jackson surrounded himself in guns, drugs and violence and go against every logical thought that was screaming at me from the back of my head but then he hit me with his show stopping eyes and that was it. I fell. I ran my fingers over his chest tattoo as I mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen. My hand then trailed down to where his crotch was pressed against mine and I remembered my art teacher's words. It slipped it down the material of his boxers caressing it gently, using just the right amount of pressure like I did when I was sculpting Freddie.

I watched his mouth open letting out gasps of breath as his eyes watched every movement I made. His gold knuckleduster necklace swayed back and forth as his hips moved to the rhythm my hand was doing. Everything about him just screamed sheer, raw badness and yet much like his chest tattoo of two faces, one laughing and one crying this was the side of Freddie that was making me fall madly in love with him. Did I just say the L word? His hand guided mine and then I felt the sensation that I knew only Freddie Jackson could make me feel. It was intoxicating; everything about him was, from the bead of sweat that fell from his head onto mine to the growl that came from deep within his chest vibrating in my ear. Being this close to him and having his hands all over me was like being on ecstasy, everything in my head went fuzzy and I let everything I ever believed in disappear. He grinded against me grabbing the headboard as it rocked harder and harder against the wall. It was like an electric shock had just worked its way through every part of my body, causing my brain to go into seizure mode and black spots and fireworks to burst before my eyes. I got a pain in my back where I was arched towards him but I couldn't have cared less at that moment in time there was no way I was pulling back, if the muscle strained, let it strain. If I could have gotten any physically closer to Freddie I would have. And then I felt it, hot spurts worked their way through my body which caused me to growl from deep within my chest, something I've never even heard before. He then collapsed, resting his head on my chest. Freddie's breath went into a slight wheeze obviously from those awful cigars he smokes as he leaned up and rested his lips on mine for a few seconds. I ran my fingers through his hair waiting for the pulse that was radiating through my body to stop completely.

"I'm not going to let you go this time Freddie" I said kissing his forehead.

"This place I seem to go to when I'm with you, it's like an oasis of calm while the rest of my life is like a tornado, constantly turbulent" he sighed, his eyelids closing over.

Whoever told Freddie Jackson he was an idiot should be locked up. It was very obvious Freddie was very smart but only showed his intelligence when it came to what was important in his life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Sorry this took a bit longer, college and the like. But here we go I hope you enjoy and the next one is going to be a big one :D Enjoy and thanks to all my readers and reviewers etc I love you all and I'm really glad people are liking this story and pairing :)**

**-Sailor**

I walked into the kitchen the next morning and saw Freddie standing over the sink smoking one of those horrible cigars, the smoke billowing from his mouth and nose and wafting throughout the kitchen. I stood beside him and opened the window as it was beginning to choke me. Also I know my aunty will be able to smell it in the curtains when she gets home.

"You're up" he croaked, taking another puff on his cigar.

"Do you want breakfast?" I yawned.

"If you're making some" he smiled.

"I'll make you some French toast" I said grabbing the bread.

As I watched him wolf down the French toast like he had never eaten anything in his life I saw something fall out of his pocket. It was a small bag filled with a white powder.

"Freddie, I don't want that stuff in my house"

"What?" he mumbled, French toast blocking his speech.

"That" I said, pointing to the floor where it fell from his trouser pocket.

"It's just a bitta coke babe" he said as if it was nothing.

"I don't care…look Freddie all I'm asking you is to just not bring it to my house"

"Ok, promise next time I won't" he smiled. "I don't know what the big fackin deal is babe…"

"The big deal is that I'm trying to get away from everything like that and I don't like you bringing it to my doorstep"

He reached down and shoved it back in his pocket. "Sorry won't happen again"

"Thank you" I said taking a sip of my tea.

"You got college today?"

"No I'm going to take a walk to the park down the road with my camera"

"What?" he laughed.

"I need a subject for my next painting and I figured…I don't know something might hit me there or at home when I look through the pictures"

"That's the maddest thing I've ever heard" he smiled finishing off his breakfast.

"I suppose it is but that's what art will do to you" I laughed. "Do you have work?"

It felt odd calling it work to be honest since he's probably never done an honest day's work in his whole life.

"Nah suppose I should go see how Jimmy's gettin' on though…"

I thought he would have said Jackie there but obviously not…

"Does he know you're here?"

"Nah babe"

He sniffed loudly, wiping under his nose before wiping his eyes.

"You wouldn't want some company would ya?" he said staring at the table.

"You want to come with me?" I asked slightly shocked to be honest. That would be the last thing I would have imagined he wanted to do.

"Yea sure, unless you'd rather be alone?"

"No, no I'd love for you to come along I just didn't think it would be your thing"

"Right well I'll go home and change and come back" he smiled.

"Sure" I smiled back.

He got up grabbed his shirt that I forgot to wash for obvious reasons, kissed me and headed for the door.

* * *

Four hours later, Freddie still hadn't returned. I had sat in front of my canvas for an hour trying to figure out what to do waiting on him. I gave up hope that he was returning so I wrapped my scarf around my neck, pulled my hat on and headed towards the park that was about a fifteen minute walk from my house. The leaves were halfway through turning brown and limping off the trees. I had brought a small sketch pad in my bag just in case I saw something as well as my camera. I sat overlooking the manmade pond in the centre of the park contemplating…everything really. Freddie hadn't returned but I put that down to Jackie giving him a hard time considering they just had a new baby. I didn't mind that much I kinda knew this wasn't Freddie's thing and there's nothing wrong with that. I snapped a few shots of the lake that was still frozen over at the edges and reviewed them. I gotta say, after spending a night with a man as dangerous as Freddie Jackson, snapping pictures of a manmade lake for my art project seemed so mundane. I took out my sketch pad waiting for my fingers to do their magic. I started sketching a tree in the corner of the page hoping something would flow from it. Before I knew it I found myself sketching an outline of Freddie's face and then his eyes, his amazing eyes. Even just drawing from memory I knew to draw them looking slightly teary. They always had this amazing glaze to them that just cut right to the core of me. After about an hour of sketching him I realised I would find nothing sitting here sketching Freddie so I turned over to a clean page looking around. A small child sat on the other side of the lake playing with a motorised boat while another younger child sat clearly mesmerised by this little boat being moved around the water by just a remote control. A man and a woman sat on the bench just down from mine leaning towards each other, not saying anything but clearly just happy to be in each other's company. And yet I found nothing at all coming into my mind. It's all been done before and I know if I show up with a piece like this to my art tutor she'll just be like "it's good but there's no passion" I've heard her say that to a lot of people, people who paint sad clowns and the like. I got so frustrated with myself; I decided to go talk to my art teacher to see if she could shed some light on the difficulty I'm having.

I found her sitting in her office, the melting clock she bought at a Salvador Dali fan auction sitting above her head.

"Yes" she called not looking up from the painting she was staring at.

"Miss, can I talk to you?" I said sticking my head fully around the door.

"Of course child, come in!" she said enthusiastically, still without looking up at me.

"What's in your head?" she smiled finally looking away from the painting.

"I'm just having trouble with my assignment" I said stepping in.

"Please sit"

I looked around for a chair in the bombsight that was her office before finding one under a large blank canvas. I rested it against the wall and sat down as she sat directly opposite me.

"What's wrong?"

"Well I was in the park earlier looking for inspiration and just nothing came"

"But your work is always brilliant; I mean your last piece…blew me away!" she said her arms opening wide. "Freddie was a masterpiece, I mean your work is always amazing but that just took it to a whole new level!"

"Well thank you but…"

"Everything about it, I know you said it was taken from real life, wow!"

"I know but…"

"The way his face was so contorted which looked like it belonged to a completely different body! Still gives me goose bumps when I think about it!"

I sighed angrily rolling my eyes as she praised Freddie.

"Well that's the thing, I can't seem to be able to tap into what I did for Freddie" I said speaking quickly before she got a chance to interrupt again.

"Why not?"

"I don't know…"

"Well where is Freddie, the actual Freddie?"

"He's still around"

"Well spend some time with him and something will hit you"

"I have been spending time with him…"

"Well what have you been doing?"

I twitched slightly and I saw her eyebrows, heavily pencilled, rise.

"Ah you've been a dirty bird…" she winked.

"Well it sort of just happened"

"And you got nothing from that?"

"Well…" I started remembering exactly how I felt when Freddie touched me. "I did I suppose…it was something I've never felt before"

"Well you need to go home and put that on a canvas because I can guarantee right here right now, that if this piece is inspired by Freddie, it will be a masterpiece. Whatever this Freddie character possesses it brings out the best side of your work. He must hold something special deep within him" she said leaning over the desk at me.

"Ok…yea you're right" I smiled.

"That's what I'm here for darling! Don't worry I know whatever comes out is going to be extraordinary!"

I left her sitting there with her arms still open out wide smiling as I left the room. Mad as the head of a brush wasn't even the phrase anymore.

* * *

By the time I got home, the sun was beginning to set behind the houses and the evening took a chill tone. I twisted the key in the lock, the house just as cold as outside. I immediately switched on the heating and the fire in the study as I took out a blank canvas and put it in front of me. I closed my eyes trying to think of a way to paint what I felt when I was with Freddie. For some reason, the first thing that kept popping up into my head was a knuckleduster. He wore a small gold one around his neck and one in his pocket just in case. I put that to one side of my mind knowing that would be an important aspect later on. I started with the outline of a woman's back, her hips coming out showing her feminine outline. I then put a pair of strong male hands on either side of the lower back, the nails digging in slightly lines of blood marking her body as a result. A fire rose on the left corner of the painting. I then worked on Freddie's face that would be leaning over the shoulder of the woman. The same glaze I knew he would have even if he was standing right in front of me now...I worked faster than I have ever worked before; it was just screaming from within dying to get out and I couldn't stop. Then I heard a knock come on the door. I angrily threw my brush down ready to give out holy hell to whoever interrupted me. Freddie stood there with that grin plastered on his face. He was dressed up a bit, well dressed up for Freddie. I said nothing wanting him to speak first.

"I need you to do something for me"

Not even a hello.

"What?"

"Well I have big business going on tonight and I need your assistance"

"Freddie, I'm not getting involved with all that"

"C'mon babe, I promise nothing will happen. I just need you more to stand in the background"

I glanced around my empty hall, there really was no one here to stop me expect myself.

I grabbed my coat and followed Freddie to his car, his grin only widening when I sat in the car. I immediately regretted agreeing to it as I sat in the car. All I could keep thinking about was that night in the Vortex when I got to witness it the other side of Freddie's life before I ran and now I was a willingly putting myself in that position again. I got a severely hollow feeling as we pulled out of Oak Tree estate and headed towards the city centre.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! I am sorry that this has taken so long but just loads of stuff to do but I decided I wouldn't be mean and make this longer since you've all been waiting :) So here we go I hope everyone likes it and as always, leave a review if you want I do love waking up and getting flooded with emails from fanfiction when I switch on my wifi on my phone :) Have a day off college tomorrow so gonna spend it watching The Take and Warrior, seeing the amazing Tom Hardy at work :) Love you all! xoxo**

**-Sailor**

We pulled up a dingy side street and he killed the engine. The florescent light flashed in the window at me and I regretted ever getting in the car with him.

"Alright babe now you just stand behind me" he smiled tapping some white powder from a bag onto his hand and snorting it loudly.

"Freddie, I was thinking maybe I should go home" I said the tension in my stomach tumbling around creating a knot that was making me nauseas.

He looked at me with his massive dilated pupils and I saw his hand reach over into the glove compartment and pull out a massive bag of white pills.

"I need you to hold onto this, tuck it under your jacket there" he said while his eyes flicked to the bouncer who was pacing up and down in front of the door guarding it like a lion in a cage.

"Freddie…" I stuttered, but he just ignored me, buttoning up his jacket and getting out the car.

"Here, take this as well" he said handing me a Glock handgun.

"Freddie!"

"Stick it in your jeans there" he said his eyes never leaving the bouncer.

I zipped up my jacket feeling the pills at one side and the cold gun digging into my hip on the other side. Freddie walked around the car to me and pushed me in front of him as we approached the door.

"The fuck you want?" snuffed the bouncer.

I walked past him but he stopped Freddie and patted him down.

"Satisfied?" he smirked as he reluctantly let him pass. He put his hand on my lower back guiding me through the long corridor as the music got louder.

We walked through the crowd as they danced and fell around us, the lights blinding us until we got to a staircase leading to an office.

"Stay behind me" he whispered as the door opened.

A massive tank opened the door and I craned my neck looking up as Freddie stepped in.

"How's is goin' man?" smiled Freddie hitting him on the shoulder. I stepped in behind him and was greeted by a group of guys sitting around on low couches glaring at us. Freddie greeted them all with the same enthusiasm even though they didn't look too impressed at him being there. I saw Jimmy get up and greet him but then he lost his smile when he saw I was right behind him.

"What is she…"Jimmy whispered.

"Keep stum" he sneered.

"What's with the skirt?" one guy coughed.

"Eh she's with me" Freddie said wiping his nose.

He pulled me behind him as he walked over to take a seat. "You can just stand over there babe" he said gesturing for me to step back a few steps from the couch.

"Alright lads can we please get this over with quickly, we've all got stuff to do" Freddie smiled as the rest looked on, unimpressed.

"What are you even doin' here? We're fine just dealing with Jimmy"

Freddie's head turned slowly staring at Jimmy. "Little Jimmy man…making a name for yourself"

"Freddie…I didn't say that it's just I know you may have had other important things to do" he said his eyes darting back at me. "And I could have taken care of it if you wanted, that's all"

"Well that doesn't matter coz I'm here now anyway so let's get down to business gentleman" Freddie smiled lighting a cigarette, his gold watch hanging off his bony wrist.

One guy leaned over the table and placed a tablet on it.

"This is what we're flooding the market with now, great stuff, we're moving it by the boat full"

"And you're the only one moving this stuff?" asked Freddie.

"Yea this shit is so fresh hardly anyone has heard of it"

"Huh…" pondered Freddie taking a long drag.

"What?"

"Coz I got a great deal on a bag of them, they seriously undercut you guys and their profit margins are off the charts" he sniffed.

"Have you been making money behind my back?" whispered Jimmy.

Freddie ignored his comment and leaned closer.

"So why are you trying to screw us?" he sneered. "Seems to me you should be begging us to get involved in your little venture since there's already competition"

"How do we know you're not bullshitting us?"

"I have it here with me" he gestured for me to come over. He stood up, and stood inches from my face while unzipping my jacket reaching in and taking out the pills I had before reaching around and stroking the handle of the gun that was sticking out of my jeans with a dirty smile on his face. There was something dangerously erotic about having Freddie stroking a gun that was stuck down my jeans.

"Who's this, your crack whore mule?"

"You could say that" muttered Freddie.

Not a name I would have liked him to call me but in the circumstances…

He picked the drugs out and threw them on the table turning to sit back down.

"So I expect a better offer guys" he grinned using that sarcastic cocky tone of voice while Jimmy sat back clearly knowing Freddie was taking charge.

"Fuck off" one of the guys on the other side muttered.

"What did you just say?" he said pointing to him with his cigarette but staring off into the distance.

"Nothin', don't mind him" the other one piped up.

He got up and walked around the couch towards me. He reached into my jacket and placed his hand on the gun smiling his evil little grin at me.

"You don't want to fack with me man" he laughed.

His eyes weren't the same, they were ruthless, murderous and unforgiving and as much as I tried to tell myself yes he did have this side, I still didn't care for it.

"Freddie…I can't give you a better offer man" the main guy laughed nervously.

His smile died and I felt him take the gun from my hip and rest it against my back.

"You can't? So you expect me to let you earn money on my block without cutting me a larger profit? Even when I told you other guys are giving me more for less? You said yourself the shit's being sold by the boat load"

"Yea…but…"

But before he got to finish the sentence Freddie turned around, gun in hand and shot the guy in the stomach before shooting his three cronies he had around him. Jimmy jumped up with a fright and I felt my knees collapse from under me. I tried to compose myself as Freddie just looked at him like he was a piece of rubbish.

"Freddie what the fack!" screamed Jimmy.

Freddie merely just stood there, his eyes getting that glazed over look.

"We're supposed to be making a deal with these guys!"

"Fackin' relax Jimmy boy! I've got my other guys!"

Jimmy sighed to himself rubbing his eyes.

"What are you sighing for? You wanna be poor?" laughed Freddie.

He thrust the gun back into my hands, I gripped it tight not really sure what to do with it.

"And Freddie, what the fack are you bringing her here for?!"

Freddie looked around at me and smiled. "Jimmy boy…I'm not liking your tone" he said sticking his tongue under his top lip.

"I…I just don't think she should be here…what if she talks"

"I wouldn't Freddie" I felt I almost had to instantly say.

"I know you wouldn't babe" he said his voice taking a sudden soothing tone.

"Freddie…what is the point in my organising these meetings if you're just gonna do shit like this?"

"I don't know Jimmy boy" he shrugged. "Maybe you're thinking you'll make a nice name for yourself?"

"Freddie that's not true you know that's not true!" he screamed.

Freddie simply shrugged and wiped his nose. He reached down and took up the bag of tablets and shoved them in his pocket.

"C'mon babe, let's go get wasted!" he said guiding me out the door and down the stairs, all the time gripping the still warm glock.

"Freddie…" I said as we sat in the car. Jimmy followed us out but went the opposite way to where his car was parked.

"What babe" he said taking it out of my hand and throwing it in the glove compartment.

I didn't even know what to say, I was still so shaken by what I had just witnessed. This was not the same man who lay beside me in bed and told me how he just wanted a simple life, an easy quiet life. He turned to look at me waiting on me to say what I was thinking.

"C'mon we'll go have a drink, it'll be grand, don't want the night to be a total waste" he smiled starting the engine.

* * *

Twenty minutes later I was being led to another dingy nightclub down some other urine soaked ally. Freddie walked me down the stairs to where the music was pumping. He nodded to the bouncer at the bar and we were led to the back where the booths were. Some guys were there, obviously part of Freddie's crew, smoking and drinking and had cheap women hanging out of them. Needless to say this was not a place I wanted to be. Freddie went to bar and got chatting to some guy. They both looked over at me then back to their conversation. I saw Freddie with two drinks on the bar stirring them vigorously before bringing them over.

"Freddie" I yelled over the music. He sat down and leaned in close to hear me. "I don't want a drink I'm fine"

"Nah babe! We're celebrating! C'mon it'll be fine I promise!" he smiled pushing the drink up to my lips.

I reluctantly took it smiling falsely and taking a sip. He downed his and went up for more. He threw himself into the seat beside me drinking and looking around. His arm sneaked around my shoulder while he didn't look at me.

"Here! Are you not a bit overdressed for this joint!" I suddenly heard someone shout from my left side. A very drunk man with a load of coke smeared under his nose leaned close to me.

"What?" I said not really wanting to engage in conversation. I was hoping he wouldn't be bothered to repeat himself.

But before he got a chance, Freddie's fist flew across my face punching the guy out cold.

"Here slut, get him out of here!" he ordered the cheap looking girl he was with.

"Fack sake what did you go and do that for?!"

"Get him the fack outta here you slag!" Freddie ordered again.

"You ok?" he said leaning close to me.

"Yea…" I didn't really know how to describe how I felt after I just saw him shot three people and punch one out.

I downed the rest of my drink and Freddie already had one waiting for me. He took out his infamous little white packet, popped some on his hand and snorted it loudly. He offered me some but I declined sipping more of my drink. He unzipped his pocket and took out the pills.

"I swear one of these you'll be grand!"

"No Freddie" I said shaking my head.

"It'll make you feel you're being fucked by Superman!" he laughed.

His lids closed over clearly drunk. I was getting drunk and I was only on my second drink but whatever Freddie had ordered it was practically pure alcohol and he had downed twice as much as me. I shook my head and he looked around again smiling. I noticed the booth had emptied slightly, there were two people left but then they got up and it was just Freddie and I.

"Babe, I know this isn't really your scene" he said gulping down his drink.

He leaned in and kissed me, his hands riding up my legs. He grabbed my knees pushing them up so he could lie on top of me. I was drunk so it took a few minutes before any of this registered with me. I felt his tongue darting in and out of my mouth and a familiar bulge pressed against my crotch. He stopped and looked me dead in the eye before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a white pill. He placed it on my lips and I don't know what came over me but I flicked it off with my lips and swallowed it. Freddie got a look on his face I've never seen, it was genuine shock.

"Babe…" he said his eyes looking between mine. He kissed me again and it was only a few minutes until I was feeling the effects. My head was fuzzy and my whole body became suddenly doubly sensitive. I felt everything. I bit my lip and could instantly feel it unlike earlier when I did and the alcohol had numbed it. Freddie pulled me up and carried me across the dance floor to a door guarded by a bouncer.

"Freddie, how's it goin' man?" he greeted. I stumbled slightly and Freddie caught me. "Your usual room is all prepped"

I caught the bouncer looking me up and down before brining Freddie in closer to him, but I could still here everything he said.

"Is she not a bit…bland? Have you checked out the rest of the talent here?"

"Ah nah man! I brought this one from home, the rest of them here…ah I could do without. More trouble than their facking worth!"

He nodded and opened the door. Freddie walked me in while I mumbled to myself about nothing really. Everything in my head was fuzzy and thinking straight was not on the agenda but I was wired to the moon. Freddie brought me down the back and in through another door. I couldn't even tell you what it looked it. I just felt Freddie put me on the bed before he climbed on top of me.

"Freddie…" I felt myself moan. He bit at my neck which sent waves of electricity through my whole body. "You're so bold" I giggled. He started laughing madly.

"I've…I've facking never heard you giggle"

I leaned up and pulled him back down on me before digging my knees into his side and flipping him over. I pulled at his belt while he ripped off my t shirt. I pulled his trousers off and sat on top of him. As I eased myself onto him I felt his nails dig into my back, dragging them down while he groaned loudly, eventually grabbing my hips tightly in his grip. I could feel flakes of skin that Freddie scratched off me falling from my back as I grinded against him. A fire lit in his eyes when he grabbed my tighter and flipped me over. I could feel my inner thighs burning and muscles strained as Freddie pumped as fast and hard as he could into me. I ran my fingers over his tattoos as he groaned and bruised my sensitive skin with his fingers as he held me as tight as he could. My muscles clamped hard around him causing his grip to tighten even more. I felt his semen snake through my body while he panted loudly in my ear. My whole body felt paralysed. It felt like if Freddie removed himself my whole body would collapse.

His tongue ran over my mouth, down my sweat covered chest, down my naval and down to my crotch. His eyes watched mine the whole time. I could feel his hot breath on my soft lips as his hands ran down my legs giving me goose bumps. The sheets at my side rumpled under my clutch as I waited impatiently for what he was about to do. His gaze disappeared as his mouth found the furthest possible point. And then out of nowhere, I felt his tongue run up the length slowly before settling and wrestling with my clit for a few seconds before popping his head back up. And that was all I needed. My muscles clamped down once again and I felt his tongue dart back in and out. He clambered back up to me and looked into my eyes, his perfect eyes. They were dark and devious but for once it didn't bother me. I knew my Freddie was there.

"You really are Superman" I panted kissing his cheek.

He leaned up and switched off the lamp leaving us in darkness. I made out the silhouette of Freddie and I knew he was staring at me through the darkness.

"You're a good girl…that's why I...I trust you" he sighed, his breath hitching slightly in his chest. I put my hand on his cheek, feeling his hand rest on my own.

I put my head on his chest and felt myself slip into an intoxicated unconsciousness, my mind swimming with thoughts before blacking out listening to Freddie's heart race underneath me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I want to thank you all for being so nice about the delay and whatnot and for reading and reviewing loads, you're all amazing individuals! :) So here you go, enjoy and just a side note, don't be too mean when you see I decided to be a bit mean later on here ;) Lave! xo**

**-Sailor**

But in the cold, harsh light of day, things seemed very different. I woke up my head banging, my gritty, dehydrated eyes sinking back into my head. I glanced around and saw Freddie lying beside me unconscious to the world. I pulled at my watch and saw it was 12.09am and I was meant to be at college 3 hours ago. I ignored the drum solo going on in my head and jumped out of the bed pulling on my clothes. I grabbed all my stuff together and looked around to see if I had missed anything.

"Babe?" Freddie croaked rubbing his eyes.

I checked my pockets making sure everything was there. He sat up, sniffing loudly the contents of his nose dripping out slowly.

"What's the panic?"

"Freddie I was meant to be in college 3 hours ago"

"And?"

"And I was meant to meet with my art tutor!" I said suddenly remembering. Everything that was in my head was still fuzzy.

"Ok calm down I can bring you" he said swinging his legs over the bed.

"Freddie, can we go now?!"

"Yea, yea just give me a second" he said rubbing his eyes. He pulled on his trousers and shirt staggering towards the door.

We walked back down the hall and out the door. The place looked so different once the haze from last night lifted. It looked cheap and classless, some guys wiping glasses and cheap hookers scattered around putting on make-up. They didn't look half as decent without their face on. The cold air hit me like a truck when we walked out. I threw myself into the car as Freddie started the engine. He turned and smiled at me as we pulled out, his bloodshot eyes hitting mine but I wasn't in the mood for any of this.

We pulled up outside my college, my head still pounding and I went to jump out before Freddie grabbed my hand.

"Last night was fun babe" he smiled.

"Yea…it was"

"When's your aunty home?"

"Eh…tomorrow" I lied.

I don't know why I lied. I had willingly allowed myself to get sucked into Freddie's world and it was like something in my muddled brain realised what my life would be like if I had of gotten involved with Freddie all those years ago if my mother hadn't yanked me inside.

"Ah right, was kinda hoping she'd be away for a bit longer but it can't be helped I suppose babe" he said in that long drawn out tone he uses occasionally. He leaned in and kissed me while I pulled the handle on the door.

"I'll see you soon" he said as I hopped out. I didn't look back as I walked into the main double doors of my college, my brain still bouncing off the walls of my skull. I walked into my lecture, late, and tried to catch up. But it wasn't just because I was late, I found even writing notes was difficult, along with keeping my eyes open. After the lecture I raced to my tutor's office and knocked. I had missed my important meeting with her this morning and I knew she was going to be less than impressed. I walked in and saw an icy glare pan across her face.

"Where were you?"

"I am really sorry, I slept it out"

She narrowed her eyes at me, clearly not buying my story.

"What has gotten into you lately?"

"What?" I said cracking on not to know what she was talking about.

"You've been missing lectures…your art teacher told me you're having trouble with assignments and no offence but you look like death warmed up this morning" her eyes looking between my blood shot, sullen ones.

"I know…just things have been sorta stressful lately"

"And then you're missing your meetings with me? That was never you! You've never missed one"

"I know, I'm sorry…it won't happen again I promise"

"What did you do last night?"

"You don't even want to know…" I said pulling my nose slightly.

"Well whatever's going on, make sure it's taken care of soon because I have one thing to say to you…" she said leaning over her desk. "If you start down a slippery slope, you'll be out of here faster than you can say pop art"

I nodded and waited for her to wave me off. As soon as she did, I jumped up and ran to the bathroom feeling myself gag and eventually puking my ring up in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and splashed water on my face. She was right, I was a mess. My face was pale, sickly and sweaty along with dark circles under my eyes…and that was only one night on one pill. Imagine doing this every day, I don't know how Freddie does it. There was no way I could keep this up. I grabbed my bag and headed for the bus. I had to go home and sleep this off because there was no way I could limp on through the day and I knew I would get nothing done. I fell asleep on the bus and nearly missed my stop but I eventually managed to get home. I turned the key in the lock and fell in the door, stumbled up stairs and collapsed in bed.

About 9 hours later, I woke up my head seeming a bit clearer, at least the pounding had ceased. I rubbed my head and staggered up heading to the bathroom. The black bags had faded from under my eyes and I reached into the press getting my eye drops. I dropped them into my eyes and they instantly felt better. I was finally starting to feel human again. I got a shower, got into my jammies and decided to cook some dinner and have an early night. It was only now in my semi well rested state that I realised the answering machine had been blinking all night. I had seven new messages. I played them and it seemed my aunty had phoned periodically after her first two phone calls were ignored. Her messages got angrier and worried as they progressed clearly wondering if her house was still standing. I rang the number back and she picked up on the second ring.

"Alyson! We're the fuck have you been?!"

"I'm sorry, I went out last night and I fell asleep in a mate's house so I haven't been home. I went straight to college this morning"

"Right ok, well you could have left a message telling me!"

"I know I wasn't thinking…"

"Right, its ok" she said letting out a sigh of relief. "I'll be home in two days you remember yea?"

"Yea I remember"

"And the house is still standing?"

"Yes the house is still standing"

"Very good, I'll talk to you later then"

"Ok bye" I said hanging up.

It's always the way, the one night I go out and get absolutely stoned out of my head is the night she takes it upon herself to ring.

As I sat watching the television eating my dinner, my mind kept harping back to the events of last night. Everything about me was sore. I had scratches all down my back and bruises on my hips. I was falling apart at the seams. Maybe Maggie had been right about me being a stupid little girl. I was getting in way over my head here. In a way I was like the posh kids in my college, naïve in thinking it can't do any harm sure things like that don't happen to people like me. But on the other side of that coin I knew Freddie was a different person and I knew I wasn't a stupid little girl for thinking it. I had seen it. He's just a product of his environment, makes the wrong choices but underneath all that I know he's a good guy. But I had to avoid being dragged down by Freddie's bad side. Yes it seemed excitement and edgy but it'll probably kill me. I knew I had to spend as little time with Freddie as possible unless his good side wants to make a more prominent appearance, because otherwise he'll probably end up being the death of me and I knew I had to be strong enough to resist.

My mind sat rewinding the footage from last night trying to figure out where I should go from here, should I tell him what I'm thinking? Let him know I think he's a terrible influence and I'm not going to bet my whole life because he shows a decent side to him every so often? Then just as I was trying to make a well thought out and rational decision, the doorbell went.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing I'm so happy knowing everyone is liking this :D You're all legends! xoxo**

**-Sailor**

I almost wasn't going to answer it, but I got up and tip toed to the big wooden door. I listened for any sign whatsoever that it was Freddie, him sniffing loudly or coughing from those awful cigars but it was silence until the doorbell rang again making me jump. I peered through the peep hole before opening it. It was my mother. She stood on the doorstep looking me up and down.

"You look awful"

"Thanks Mam"

She pushed past me and walked towards the kitchen. "I just thought I'd come and see how you're getting on"

"What, now after all this time?"

"Yes, well I figured you might have wanted some space"

She sat at the island gazing around here clearly imagining what her life would have been like if she hadn't of picked a deadbeat to start a life with.

"So how are things?"

"Fine…"

"Out late last night?" she said flatly.

"Yea you could say that…c'mon mam why are you really here?"

"Well I got a call from Rose last night when she couldn't get through here…"

I immediately came up with a story in my head.

"Yea I was out last night, you know big college night out"

"Oh? Good night?"

"Yea it was…the one night I go out and she rings it's typical" I laughed.

"Yea I know, Tommy out last night?"

"Eh yea he was" I said trying to look like I was trying to remember.

"Huh…that's funny I rang him after Rose rang me and he said he wasn't out with you"

I continued to stare at my hands because well, what else is there to do in a moment like this?

"So where were you? I ask as if I don't already know the answer" she sighed.

"Well I wasn't out with Freddie"

"Really?" she said with a sarcastic smile on her face.

"No I wasn't. Mam I haven't seen Freddie in months, remember that's the reason you moved me here?"

"Don't get smart with me" she snapped.

"I'm not! I honestly wasn't with him!"

"Then why did you say Tommy was there!" she screamed.

I sighed and I knew there was only one way to get out of this.

"Ok Mam! I did lie; I was with him last night! But you know what I'm sorting it, I realised what you were talking about this whole time! Just before you knocked on the door I was thinking about how shit my life would have been if you hadn't kept me on the straight and narrow!"

"Then why do you keep doing it!"

"Because I'm stupid! Is that what you want to hear?!"

She let out a huge breath and clasped her hands over her eyes. "You're not stupid…you're just making stupid decisions"

"Mam, I promise I'm sorting it…what happened last night…" I muttered shaking my head.

"Why, what did he do to you?"

"Nothing, but I just got a glimpse of what his life is like and I didn't like it"

"Thank god" she whispered.

"But Ma, I need you to stay out of this, I'm deadly serious" I said walking around to face her. "Because whatever you do, you cannot say anything to Freddie, I have to talk to him first; he's a very volatile person underneath everything. I know how to approach him…I know what he needs…"

"I won't say a word"

"I'm serious Ma, if you run into him at home don't say a word to him! Just keep crackin' on that you hate him, shouldn't be too difficult" I snipped.

She grabbed her bag and headed for the door. "I think it's funny the way you say he's a volatile and vulnerable person…as if that monster has any feelings whatsoever or the capacity to be vulnerable" she said closing the door behind her.

* * *

The next few weeks were quiet. My aunty came home; her mind finally being put at ease seeing the house still standing. Martin brought in her bags and was gone, not being back since. Obviously a week with a man is enough for my aunty. My usual routine went back to normal but I noticed I was walking around constantly looking over my shoulder as if expecting Freddie to come up at any moment. I had gotten my painting done for art class as well. I locked myself in a room and started from the beginning again. Flames engulfing the backdrop, Freddie's hand rested on the top of the female back with his fingers wrapped in a gold knuckleduster while his other hand, while his other hand rested on the lower back digging his nails into the soft flesh. A snake was wrapped around her waist coming up and resting on her other shoulder. And instead of having Freddie's head resting on the other shoulder, I had his glazed eyes staring straight forward, his forehead creased slightly with his tongue reaching down licking her shoulder blade. I brought it into college and put it in front of my lecturer. There was a moment I thought she wasn't going to like it because she merely stood there glaring at it before throwing her arms open, mouth agape.

"FABULOUS!"

"Really?" I said looking back it again.

"Are you kidding?! I love it!"

I looked around at the other students who were slightly startled by her reaction.

"Has to be an A! I can almost feel his saliva on my own skin…it's so emotive! He is a fascinating human being…the eyes...the way they glaze it just hits you right in the chest!" she said banging her fist on her breastbone.

I wrapped the plastic around the large painting after she finished praising it and got on the bus home, quite pleased with myself. That was the last project of the semester and I now had a mid-term of two weeks to look forward to. I was on the brink of burning out because of all the stress of worrying about college and worrying about dealing with Freddie. I still hadn't figured out what I was going to say to him. I pressed the bell waiting for the bus to arrive at my stop then stepped off. I carried my painting under my arm while walking towards my house, making sure my painting was kept off the ground. I heard a car beep from behind me but ignored it thinking it was for someone else. But as the bus drove by I noticed another engine making noise. A car pulled up alongside me and I saw Freddie sitting in the driver's seat. He stopped the car and rolled down the window as I approached.

"Babe!"

"Freddie, how long have you been here?" I said resting the painting against the car door.

"About an hour"

"Is there something wrong?"

"What? Nah babe, get in" he smiled.

I looked up the road and saw my auntie's car was sitting in the driveway. I opened the back door and placed my painting in the back seat, the black plastic still covering it. I then hopped into the front seat while Freddie twisted his body to look at the painting.

"Another masterpiece?" he smiled.

"Yea…but I'm finally able to relax for a while" I said settling into the seat.

"Why?"

"I have mid-term break next week"

"Ah that's alright babe…might get to spend some more time together. Haven't seen you in a couple of weeks but you know how it is, everyone wants a piece of you" he said wrapping my hair around his finger. "I did really enjoy that night" he smirked.

"Yea I wasn't really myself the day after" I laughed gingerly.

"Ah yea when you're not used to it" he laughed.

"Freddie…I have to tell you, what happened that night…it wasn't what I had pictured for myself…"

"Babe…that was a tame night" he laughed.

"I know for you maybe but…the next day I couldn't even think straight, everything suffered. I got in trouble at college with my tutor and…it was all such a mess"

"Yea but you had fun with me yea babe?"

"Yea but…just that aspect of your life…I don't really care for it…so I don't think we should spend that much time together doing stuff like that" I said trying to veil my voice with an air of optimism.

I saw his eyes widen slightly, seeing right through what I was saying and making his own judgments.

"So what, you think I'm a scumbag junkie who's gonna ruin your perfect little life?" he said his eyes beginning to water.

"I didn't say that…it's just the side you have when you're with me, that's the Freddie I like to be around more so than the other. I understand that's the business you're in but I much prefer the man who talks to me and shares his thoughts and views"

"So…all that bullshit you spouted about being there blah blah, was all…lies. I don't know why I thought you were gonna be any different" he said wiping his nose.

"No Freddie! That I meant! I do care about you, how can I not? If I didn't I wouldn't be here right now"

His head rocked back and forth with, weirdly, a smile on his face. But it wasn't a happy smile. It was like he was trying to pretend what I was saying wasn't hurting him.

"Freddie…" I said my voice cracking under my lips. "I can't even begin to describe how much I care about you"

"You have a facking funny way of showing it!" he suddenly roared making me jump. "You're telling me how I'm such a bad person dragging you into all this…and yet you care so much about me? Fack off!"

"Freddie…" I said putting my hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down.

"You think I'm scum don't you?"

"Not at all, I know how amazing you are" I said putting my hand on his chest trying to get him to face me. "You will never know how much you mean to me. The things you do to me, no one has ever done it and that night when we were that close, it was unreal. But I know we have so much more than that too. I know you have a good heart Freddie and you deserve someone who sees that and who will love you for it…"

"Good heart…" he laughed tentatively. "Love? Load of my bollox" he sneered.

But then out of nowhere, I saw tears form and drop from eyes. He punched the steering wheel and then turned to me, his face becoming red with anger, his eyes sparkling with tears.

"Get out" he sneered.

"Freddie…"

"Get the fack out you bitch! You're just like the rest of them!" he roared.

I pulled at the handle trying to get out as fast as possible making me trip and bundle out of the car. He yanked the door closed and revved the engine loudly. The car spun making the wheels squeal ear piercingly loudly before driving out towards the main gates of the estate. He spun the car around the corner and was gone. It took me a few minutes to compose myself properly before taking my bag and lifting myself off the ground. My legs shook underneath me as I tried to walk as normally as possible so Rose wouldn't suspect anything, but all of the organs in my body were shaking and collapsing inside me. When I got in, I heard her call from upstairs to which I simply shouted hello before going into the study and falling onto the couch. I closed my eyes going over in my head what had just happened. I probably could have put things better, but he pounced on me. I was expecting to see him. I didn't get a chance to tell him everything I wanted to say to him but now I think I've ruined it for good.

Then I remembered…I left my painting in his back seat.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello my very loyal and patient readers and reviewers! I know this has taken a long time and I am sorry for that but please enjoy this new chapter. Thanks guys, I love you all :D xoxo**

**-Sailor**

The next time I saw Freddie, it was the second week of my mid-term. I didn't dare go near him or anywhere near the block because I feared what he might do, even though I wanted my painting back. I figured he either saw it and threw it out or totally missed it and was still driving around with it on the backseat. I had spent my day walking around town getting some stuff from the art shop but not for college just for art that I do in my spare time. I was checking through my bag seeing how many canvases I had actually purchased when I saw him coming out of a suit shop with a new suit in hand. He had his black Ray-Ban's over his eyes and he looked up and down before walking over to his car with that same swag I remember. He didn't get in straight away but he fiddled with the receipt as I stood frozen. I didn't know what to do. Should I go up and talk to him? Ignore him and keep walking? But before I had a chance to make up my mind he looked around and spotted me.

I waved. I don't know why, I had to do something. He flicked his shades onto the top of his head but I still couldn't make out how he was feeling by his face. But I couldn't just walk away from him so I walked over cautiously. I figured if he didn't want to talk to me he'd look away or get into his car. But he didn't he stood and watched me approach.

"Hey Freddie…" I said quietly.

"Hey babe"

Then there was silence. He kept his eye contact and so did I.

"I don't exactly know what you're thinking right now…" I started but I honestly had no idea how to finish that sentence. "I actually left my painting in your back seat"

"I know I saw it" he sniffed.

"Oh, well I'm sorry I didn't mean to leave it there, I'll take it off your hands if you want" I said glancing into the back seat. But it wasn't there.

"It's at my gaff"

"Oh ok" I said starting to accept the fact I was never going to see it again.

There were a few more moments of silence and I knew I had to say something.

"Freddie I'm sorry if I hurt you before, with what I said. I think it came out wrong"

"You don't have to be sorry babe"

That took me completely by surprise.

"Nevertheless I've hurt you" I said stepping towards him. "And whether you accept it or not I would like to apologise"

"You don't have to apologise, I shouldn't have raised my voice like that at you…you're not someone I ever wanted to do that with…I saw red… but I have your painting, it's beside my bed"

"Really?"

"Yea…you know I was so angry after I left you that day. I drove home and just took out my rage on anyone and everyone! The next day I got in my car and I threw my jacket in the back and I only noticed it then. I took the plastic off it and it immediately struck me right here" he said banging his chest "and just calmed me instantly"

"Really?" I said quietly. Hearing him praise my work made me feel even better than when my lecturer did.

"It was fantastic…the fire, the violence, the sex…and I don't know anything about art but I made my own judgments as to what it meant"

I got such an amazing feeling hearing Freddie talk like this. I can't even begin to describe it.

"And every night I go in and fall asleep looking at it…and I'm sorry for the way I reacted" he said looking down at his shoes. "I get what you were trying to say to me…took me a while but I get it now"

"Does Jackie not mind it being there?"

"She's staying at her ma's" he sniffed. "Here, jump in and we'll go get your painting" he said opening the driver door.

* * *

I ran around and hopped in the passenger seat, the scene of our huge argument that only happened a week earlier. But I could tell Freddie's mood was in a good place. He was the Freddie I loved to be around. When we pulled up outside the flats, he made a point of parking out of the view of any of the flats. He knew what I was thinking without me even saying it. I stepped out and we walked up the concrete steps to our floor. I didn't dare make a sound just in case my mother was in our old flat and spotted me after I told her I was sorting it. I walked into Freddie's apartment, the cold hitting me. The place was an absolute mess as well. It was similar to my old apartment except mine was bright, clean and had an air of happiness and family sentiment to it. This was just hollow.

"Freddie this place is freezing"

"Yea…suppose it is" he said throwing his keys on the table. I suppose the drink will keep the cold out.

"Can I turn on the heating?"

"Sure babe, work away"

I walked into the kitchen and saw the dishes stacked up high. This looked like it needed a serious woman's touch. So when I turned on the heating I immediately started running the tap over the dishes.

"What are you doing babe?" I heard from the bedroom.

"Nothing" I called back. Freddie emerged a few minutes later with my canvas in hand.

"Are you doing the fackin' dishes?" he laughed

"Yea, they're gonna drive me crazy…I'm a bit of a neat freak"

He laughed putting my picture on their little table leaning it against the wall before coming over and wrapping his arms around my waist. If anyone looked in through the window, we probably just looked like any other couple, but looks can be deceiving as we both know too well.

After I had finished cleaning the place up a bit, I couldn't help it the mess just bothered me too much, I sat on the couch while Freddie dozed off but waking up when I threw my weight on the couch.

"Are you done?" he laughed rubbing his eyes.

"Yes finally" I laughed.

"The place seems warmer and more homely for some reason" he said looking around.

I felt Freddie's arm rest on my shoulder and I pushed myself towards him.

"This is what I wanted…" I whispered.

"I know…but I still have my business to take care of" he sniffed pulling at his nose.

I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Yea I know…" I sighed.

I suppose that was something I would never be able to ignore. It was always going to be there, in the background.

"But I don't have to be around it…" I said quietly.

"Well no if you don't want to be…but it would be nice to have you there sometimes, you know so I know you're behind me"

"I am, but I just don't like being with you when you're working…it's dangerous and not just for me, I worry about you as well and just that part of your life…well I'd rather not be a part of that if it's all the same with you"

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I know babe, but what about the odd time, if I need you there to carry stuff?"

"Freddie…"

"Please babe…"

"Why do you like having me there?"

"I don't know" he sniffed shrugging his shoulders. "It makes it more exciting I think…knowing I can share it with you" he chuckled.

"Ok…" I said still unsure of my answer. "But just the odd time"

"I promise it'll just be the odd time" he smiled that cheeky grin that made half of me trust him and half of me suspicious.

"So how much you selling that for?" he said pointing over to my painting.

"I'm not selling it…why; did you want to keep it?"

"Well I wouldn't mind keeping it beside my bed. It always puts me in a good mood when I see it first thing in the morning"

"Really?"

"Yea…I love it"

"Well you can keep it" I smiled.

"Yea?"

"Yea, I mean all it's going to be doing in my house is gathering dust"

He smiled at me as his eyes went to the canvas.

"I love the way you paint me…it's like I get look at myself the way you see me"

"That's very insightful Freddie"

"It is?"

"Yea…I think you've been reading up on art" I teased.

"Me? You can't be fackin serious" he laughed.

I smiled leaning up to kiss him when I heard a key in the lock. I immediately jumped away from him as Maggie burst through the door.

"What the fack you doin' here Maggie?"

"Freddie! What the fuck is she doing here?"

"This is my fackin home and I can have whoever the fack I want in it! What the fack are you doin' here?"

"So you have this tramp here while your wife is balling her eyes out over you at my ma's"

"Jackie fackin left me! I didn't ask her to leave!"

"So how do you explain this trollop?"

Freddie stood straight up getting right in her face. "If you call her that again I swear I will break your face wide open"

"Freddie…I'm gonna go" I said feeling slightly uneasy watching him threaten his wife's sister. And with Freddie the threat was a serious possibility so I didn't want to hang around any longer to see if he went with it.

"No you don't have to go" he said turning around to me as I got my coat.

"I just came to get Jackie some stuff" she said looking at me like I was a piece of rubbish.

"No Freddie I'll go but I'll talk to you soon" I said wanting to kiss him goodbye but knowing I couldn't because Maggie was standing right there.

"Maggie, get the fack out"

"Fuck you Freddie! You do realise he'll just treat you the way he treats all his other hoes" she said glaring at me. "I mean look at how he treats his own wife! Ha! And you think you're something special…he'll throw you on the heap like the rest!"

I walked out into the little hall with Freddie hot on my heels and Maggie's words being roared after me.

"Ok I'll come and see you soon" he smiled grabbing my shoulders.

"Yea of course, keep that painting safe too"

He kissed me while Maggie huffed and puffed from the kitchen. I opened the door and stepped out watching Freddie as he closed the door. As soon as the door was closed I heard him roar and shout at Maggie. The tiger was officially breaking free from Freddie but luckily I wasn't in the firing line this time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello people! So new chapter, hope you enjoy it! :D Thank you for being so lovely and patient, I love you all and thank you all for your lovely reviews :) Enjoy! Also thinking maybe I might start a Lawless fanfic, in case you haven't seen it, it's one of Tom Hardy's new movies and it's amazing! Thoughts anyone? :) So talk to you next chapter guys! xoxo**

**-Sailor**

I didn't hear from Freddie for a few weeks even though he said he was going to come and see me. I slipped on my Ugg boots and tied my dressing gown. It was early morning and the temperature hadn't risen so I had to wrap up while I brought out the bins. I unlocked the back door and dragged them around the front down to the kerb as the bin truck drove down the road. I noticed a car down the street from the house; it looked like Freddie's car but I couldn't be sure. I chatted with the bin men as they emptied the bins still watching the car. I saw an outline of person in the driver side but I couldn't make out who it was. I walked back inside and made some breakfast waiting for my aunty to get up and go to work. I didn't have college that day so I was planning a day of relaxing and sketching. I sat in my room sketching when I felt the need to look out the window. I glanced out and down the road. The car was still there and I got an uneasy feeling. The phone rang making me jump but turns out it was aunty asking me to go down to the shop and get milk. I threw on my shoes and coat and stepped out locking the door. I walked towards the car and saw Jimmy sitting in the driver's seat. He rolled down the window and blew smoke out from his cigarette.

"Jimmy…is there a reason you've been sitting outside my house?"

"Yea…I wanted to talk to you about Freddie"

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you about him that's all"

But something in my gut didn't feel right.

"Well, what it's about?" I said taking a step away from the car.

"I need you to stay away from him"

"Excuse me?"

"He needs to take care of the family he already has and that does not include you"

"Jimmy what has this got to do with you?"

"Because it's me and Mags who are pickin' up the pieces as usual"

"Freddie's a big boy I'm sure he can take care of himself" I said walking away.

Jimmy jumped out of the car and grabbed the sleeve of my coat yanking me back.

"Listen, I know you think this is a game because you're a stupid little girl but it isn't! Freddie is a fucked up guy and this isn't just for Jackie's benefit it's for yours too. It doesn't matter what his intentions are at the end of the day, good, bad or indifferent, everyone around him ends up suffering"

"Jimmy seriously…I have to go"

"If he comes here, ignore him. If you don't answer the door he'll go away"

"I'm not going to ignore him"

"You have to, little Freddie is growing up and he needs Freddie around…as unstable as he is, he's still his da and he needs him"

"I'm not keeping him from his son!"

"You are! You may not know you are but you are! If he has any escape from his life with Jackie he will run with it"

"Well maybe he shouldn't be with Jackie if he's that miserable!"

"No…I didn't mean it like that…he loves Jackie I know he does, he just needs a reminder every so often…" he said shrugging his shoulders.

"Jimmy…I understand that Freddie is a damaged individual and I'm not trying to defend everything he does but if he needs an outlet…I told him I would be there"

"Freddie is damaged…but that's not the reason you want him around. You think he'll change or more importantly that you can change him"

"What are you talking about?"

"You'd like to change him, have him work an honest job, earn a living so you can play happy families. Freddie Jackson doesn't do happily ever after"

I pulled myself out of his grip and jogged on down the street glancing back at Jimmy who just stood there staring back at me until I went around the corner out of sight. I leaned against the wall breathing heavily. It wasn't because what Jimmy said was necessarily true; it wasn't…no, it definitely wasn't. I knew part of Freddie was just evil and cold blooded to the core and he would never leave his life for the quiet one. He may say that in a drunken haze but the idea of Freddie quitting all that for a nine to five, Monday to Friday was just unimaginable…and besides that isn't the Freddie I had fell in love with. I had fallen for the Freddie who just emitted danger from every fibre of his being. If he was an ordinary Joe Soap on the street I would merely walk by him, but his danger was what caught my attention.

Jimmy had obviously said something to Freddie because I didn't see or hear from him for the next few months. He seemed to just disappear. I even found myself walking past the block occasionally but not seeing him or his car. I decided to pay my mother a visit one of the days though, but as I walked past I listened against the door of his apartment but heard nothing. So I walked on and knocked on her door. She answered eventually but didn't look as happy to see me as I had hoped.

"Well don't look thrilled at all" I said as I stepped in.

"I'm not"

"Why what's wrong now?"

"Maggie came to see me"

I nodded my head in exhaustion more than anything else.

"Oh yea, well what lies has she been spreading?"

"She told me about when she walked into Freddie's apartment"

"That was months ago" I said raising my eyebrows in disgust.

"And yet you haven't been to see me"

"I've been busy Mam; college is really kicking my arse"

"Yea…it wouldn't have something to do with the fact Freddie hasn't been around for a few weeks would it?"

"Not at all" I said as calmly as possible. I knew that if I exploded now she'd know I was lying. "Where's he gone anyway?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know unless he's dead in his apartment"

"I doubt it…"

"You told me you were sorting it"

"I did sort it!"

"Ha! Then why were you all over him like a bad rash and in his flat?! I thought moving you out to Oaktree would stop all this shit!"

"What shit, does it look like I'm falling around off my head on drugs?"

"No but that'll be next"

I got flashbacks of that night I spent with Freddie in that club. I shook my head trying to get rid of the images.

"What is it about him?" she said rubbing her eyes.

"I don't know Mam…" my head dropping onto my folded arms. I knew she wasn't buying that. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you"

"Let me guess…he's a poor, lost, misunderstood soul who is capable of being saved…just like your father"

"What?"

"Oh yes that's right he was a lost damaged soul as well and I wasted years of my life kidding myself that he would and could change" she laughed.

"Mam, Freddie is different"

"Of course he is…they all are until they are of no use to you anymore, then he's just like the rest of them. And I had always hoped you wouldn't make the same mistake I did…and yet here you are saying the exacts words I said to everyone when they bad mouthed him"

"Mam…"

"And you know what? I give up" she laughed shaking her head. "I didn't listen and I know you won't either so I'm not going to even waste my breath. Come back to me when you're doing something useful with your life" she smiled, but it was a smile of sadness.

She got up indicating for me to leave.

"Mam…"

"Please don't even go there" she said shaking her head opening the hall door.

"So you think abandoning me right now is the best way to go?" I said feeling myself getting choked up.

"Yes, because maybe you'll start using your head properly instead of just a place to rest your ankles when you realise there are consequences with no safety net"

I stormed towards the door but stepped back facing her. "You are a sorry excuse for a mother" I sneered.

"I hope one day you'll be able to thank me for this and if not…well you chose this road"

I stepped out into the cold and heard the door slam behind me.

"You fucking bitch!" I screamed banging on her door. But she didn't open the door. I inhaled deeply angry at her and angry at myself. I marched over and started banging on Freddie's door.

"Freddie, open the fucking door!" I yelled.

I banged and hammered it until my arms and hands got sore eventually giving up and sinking against it. I sat there steaming with rage. Then I heard a few drops falling from the balcony above and the rain suddenly started belting down. After about three hours of sitting there wallowing in my own pity I heard footsteps on the concrete steps. I looked up from between my knees and saw Freddie's drunken mess of a body clamber up the stairs laughing quietly.

"Freddie" I called.

He balanced himself against the stone balcony and blinked a few times as if wondering if I was really there or if it was just the alcohol and drugs probably.

"Babe?" he called. "What…what are you doing here?" he burped stumbling over to me.

"You never came to see me" I whispered.

"I know…" he sniffed wiping his eyes and stumbling forward a bit.

I stood up and he fell on top of me fiddling for his keys in his pocket. I picked them up from the ground where he dropped them and opened the door helping him inside. He fell drunkenly onto the couch and I watched as he giggled and let his head loll back against the couch.

"So what's up?" he finally said.

"Where have you been?" I snapped.

"I dunno babe…working" he laughed.

I folded my arms and he sat up a bit obviously seeing his joke didn't go down to well.

"What's the problem you're here now?"

"My mother just told me she wants nothing more to do with me because of you!" I screamed.

He sucked his lips under his teeth before wiping his eyes again. "Aw babe…I'm sorry"

"No you're not"

"How'd she…she find out?" he burped again reaching into his pocket and pulling out his little white bag.

"Maggie went and opened her fucking big mouth!"

"Fuck sake" he said before snorting the white powder off his hand.

"She doesn't understand what we have" he said pulling his nose.

I sat down beside him and felt his arm fall over my shoulder.

"It doesn't matter…we know" he slurred, the alcohol in his breath hitting me right in the face.

"Everything…everything's just gone to shit"

"What, just coz of your Ma?"

"No, not just that…I haven't seen you in months Freddie and then Jimmy…" but then I stopped myself.

He fell drunkenly against me and pulled my face around to look at him.

"Jimmy what babe?" he slurred.

"Nothing, nothing it doesn't matter"

"What did Jimmy do?" he sneered, tears falling from his eyes.

"Nothing…Freddie I've missed you though"

"I know babe…things haven't been good lately" he said shaking his head.

"I know the feeling…"

I glanced down at the bag of powder he held between his fingers. I grabbed it and tipped some out onto my hand.

"Babe?"

"What?"

"What are you doing?" he snapped grabbing it from me.

But before he got a chance to knock it off my hand I snorted it loudly feeling the little snowflakes dance on my brain.

"Alyson!" he yelled.

"Freddie…just ssh" I said letting my head loll back onto the couch. I closed my eyes feeling his hand resting on top of mine as the cocaine took its hold on me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello everybody! Everyone excited for Christmas? The whole family arrived this week, place is bursting at the seams but I suppose that's Christmas right? :) Thanks to everyone for the feedback on the Lawless fanfic, much appreciated and don't worry I won't stop updating this even if I do start a Lawless one, I love it too much :D So thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, love you all! xoxo**

**-Sailor**

It felt like fireworks were exploding in my brain, my pupils dilated and I suddenly felt like I could do anything. I paced around the room mumbling random sentences that came into my head. My mind felt totally free all the shit that has been going on just disappeared. Freddie grabbed my shoulders sitting me down on the couch beside him.

"Freddie I can totally see why you take this stuff" I said exhaling a huge breath.

"Yea but…"

"Oh click!" I said pulling on an imaginary switch about my head. "Let's go out!"

"What? Where?"

"I don't know, anywhere!" I said my eyes widening as I sat up.

"No I don't think we should…I think you should stay here" he slurred.

"Why? C'mon Freddie!" I said getting up dragging him with me.

He looked at me and then nodded fumbling for his keys.

We fell into a taxi downstairs and Freddie mumbled something to the driver. The street lights whizzed past the windows mesmerising me in my drug riddled state.

"It's so hypnotic…" I whispered.

Freddie unclipped his seatbelt and scooted over towards me. He kissed my neck and the cold tip of his nose hit me like a bullet. I didn't move my head but just ran my fingers through his hair. Every sensation was heightened so you could imagine how amazing Freddie's lips felt on the soft flesh of my neck before he bit down lightly.

"We're here" said the driver interrupting us. Freddie threw him the money and started to pull me out of the car slowly.

"C'mon we're here…"

I walked behind him into this dingy little pub. It reeked of cigar smoke and disgusting brown ale fumes.

"Freddie man! You're back, you only left a while ago" laughed the barman. "Who's the kid?"

"This is Alyson, just get her a vodka and diet coke and I'll have a whiskey"

I slumped into the booth while Freddie chatted with the barman. He brought back the drinks and I looked around looking at the old men staring at me while Freddie turned to sit looking at me.

"Is this where you hang out a lot?"

"Yea, this is the local"

"Could we not have gone somewhere else?"

"Like where?" he said taking a gulp of his whiskey.

"Like the vortex" I smiled.

"I only go there for work babe" he sniffed lighting a cigarette.

I sucked the vodka up through the straw feeling it burn the back of my throat but it didn't stop me.

"Do you want another?" he said watching as I slurped the last few drops.

"Yes please" I giggled.

He gestured to the barman and another drink was immediately brought over to the table. I took another big sip turning to Freddie. I wrapped my arm around his neck falling into him.

"Freddie…how come we didn't hang around together when we were younger?"

"Your Ma made sure I was kept at a distance" he said blowing smoke rings before laughing wickedly to himself. "But it didn't seem to matter did it, all her efforts" he said leaning in and kissing me, his smoky breath making me cough lightly.

"And then you were in prison"

"That's right, but don't worry I don't intend to be going back there anytime soon" he smiled malevolently.

I smiled as well pulling him down towards me and kissing him. I heard the door open behind us and people step in but I didn't want to let him go. I was getting that twitch in my stomach, I began to realise we should leave now and go back to his place before I start to sober up.

"Freddie you fackin wanker!" I heard someone shriek.

He pulled away from me and I open my eyes seeing Jackie standing there, all dolled up but still looking like a mess. Before I got a chance to get my cloudy and blurred thoughts together she had dragged me up by my hair reefing me out of the booth. Jimmy and Maggie stood behind her obviously not going to stop her going to town on me.

"You slat! You're still hangin' around him!" she screamed as I wriggled from the grip she had on my hair.

"Jackie…why don't you just go and fuck yourself" I laughed throwing my hair back and stumbling back slightly.

"What did you say to me?"

"You know what you're right I am fucking Freddie and in your bed…AND he's unreal!" I purred getting right in her face. Before what I had just said registered with me I was met with her fist boxing me in the eye.

"And no wonder he wants me because look at you! I suppose having a load of nippers popping out of you will put years on you and being a fall down drunk and general waste of space wouldn't help!"

I looked over at Freddie who was trying to hide his laughter. I can understand why; looking back it certainly wasn't like me at all. Then she boxed me again, this time in the nose. I fell back on my arse, my whole brain rattled, sobering me up very quickly. I pulled myself up a bit, the vision in my right eye going blurry and my nose beginning to ache. And yet, I wasn't giving up. Freddie helped me to my feet, as I still continued to laugh.

"Is that all you got slut?" I said wiping my nose.

"Why don't you get your own fackin man?!"

"Nah I'm having far too much fun with yours!" I yelled bringing my fist back and punching her hard in the eye. She's obviously used to it a lot more than I was because she regained herself pretty quickly and jumped on me landing punches into my face.

"Jackie, fackin' stop!" I heard Freddie scream pulling her off me.

When they eventually lifted her off me, I felt my whole face had blown up at least three times its normal size and yet all I could do was laugh. Then something in my mind snapped and I jumped on top of her laying into her with my fists. She leaned up slightly head-butting me causing me to fall back.

"Freddie, what the fack are you doin'?" I heard Jimmy yell as Freddie helped me up. "Get her the fack out of here!"

"This isn't over you whore!" Jackie screamed.

Freddie brought me out the back door as blood dripped down my face.

"Jesus Alyson…where did that come from?" laughed Freddie. "I'm sure they don't teach nothin' like that in that college of yours"

"It's coz I love you Freddie" I laughed stumbling against him.

"And I love you too" he laughed.

We eventually got a taxi and Freddie suggested that I should spend the night at his place so he could fix my face up a bit.

We helped each other up the concrete stairs and staggered into his house. I was a bit more sober than Freddie but my footing still wasn't fully back. He sat me down on the couch and fetched a towel wetting it under the tap. He came over beside me and dabbed my face.

"You're gonna have a lot of bruising kid"

"It's ok" I giggled.

"I'm sure your aunty won't say that" he burped continuing to wipe away the blood. "I can't believe you had that in you"

"I know, if she hadn't of head-butted me I would have had her"

I saw Freddie's eyes water slightly as he laughed. He reached down and kissed my hand.

"C'mon, we'll get you into bed" he said helping me up from the couch. We walked into the little bedroom and I fell onto the bed with Freddie beside me.

"Babe…" I heard him whisper just as my eyes were drooping over.

"What?"

"I do care about you"

"I know you do Freddie"

"No, like really" he sniffed.

"I know Freddie"

"No…like…I can't explain it" he sighed and I watched his eyes close over. I closed my eyes, the pain starting to hit me slowly from the cuts and bruises on my face.

* * *

The next morning, everything looked so different. I woke up with Freddie's body draped across my own, his eyes red and puffy and a familiar redness just under his nose. I moved slightly and pushed his body lightly off mine. He flipped onto his back, a tear streaming from the corner of his closed eye. I staggered into the bathroom and checked out the damage. Needless to say, I looked fucking awful. My face was pale and sickly, both my eyes were bruised black and purple and she had obviously burst a blood vessel in my right one because a large smear of red ran over the white of my eye. My nose was bruised and cut and I had a large cut over my cheek. Also to make things worse, my upper lip and nose had the same redness that I've grown to just accept on Freddie. I heard Freddie stir from the bedroom and I immediately locked the bathroom door, sliding down it and burst into tears.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great Christmas and got loads of lovely presents :D So here we go, new chapter and I'll be updating my Dark Knight Rises one and my Lawless one too soon :) So enjoy and sure leave a review if you like I do love reading them and if you want you can check my new Lawless fic I started. So thanks guys and I'll talk to you all next chapter and thank you all my readers and reviewers :D xoxo**

**-Sailor**

"Babe…" I heard Freddie's hoarse voice mumble through the door followed by three light knocks.

"Freddie, go away" I sobbed.

"Are you ok?"

"No"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

I didn't even know how to explain it to myself never mind him.

"Babe, open the door" he sighed.

"No Freddie"

I heard him pull on the handle a bit, getting more agitated by the minute.

"Babe" he pressed.

"Freddie, just leave me alone"

"Just…open the door"

"I can't do this Freddie!" I sobbed.

"Open the door" he said sternly. He sounded like he was about to lose the plot any minute.

I wiped my eyes, reached up and turned the lock backing away from the door. Freddie opened it slightly peering in at me before stepping in fully. He sat down beside me putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Freddie, look at my face"

"I know…do you not remember what you did last night?"

I shook my head, little flashbacks were coming back but overall the night is a bit of a blur. I wiped my nose, giving me a stinging sensation. It felt so raw and painful, how does he put up with this.

"You gave Jackie a run for her money" he laughed.

"But look at me!" I said turning my face towards his.

I watched as his eyes surveyed every injury on my face with his teeth pulling his upper lip underneath them.

"I know babe" he said leaning in and kissing my cheek.

"Freddie" I sobbed "I can't do this"

"Babe, if you take some more, the pain won't be so bad"

I turned my head to face him, not really believing what he was saying to me.

"I don't want anymore!" I screamed.

He nodded slowly trying to calm his temper; Freddie was not a man who took kindly to being shouted at.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"Looking like this, I don't think my aunty would appreciate it"

Then I heard the door opening and Jimmy's voice calling through the little flat.

"Freddie!"

He looked at me and I leaned in closer urging him not to leave but Freddie got up and went outside to him, leaving the door slightly ajar.

"Freddie man! C'mon we've got a meeting"

"Jimmy…this isn't really a great time" I heard him whisper slightly.

"Freddie what the fack, we've had this meeting organised for facking weeks!"

"Not so facking loud!" Freddie sneered. "Jimmy just fack off"

"I can't believe this, maybe if you stop lashing that shit up your nose every single day of the week you might be able to function at least half decently!"

"You better facking watch your mouth Jimmy boy. You just remember who got you started here in the first fackin' place! You'd still be sprayin' stolen Cortina's if it wasn't for me!"

I heard Jimmy sigh heavily. "I know Freddie…I'm sorry"

"Exactly"

"I'll come in back in an hour or so…"

"You fackin' do that"

"Oh…by the way that's all taken care of…but the McCoy's…that deal is off"

I heard the door slam and Freddie reappeared at the bathroom door, before sitting down right opposite me. I didn't even want to look at him.

"When I was inside…what was your life like here?"

"What?" I said wiping my eyes.

He looked at me again, but he wasn't about to repeat the question.

"It was fine, just ploughed through school, that was it really"

"So your life was just simple?"

"Yea, pretty much. My mother kept my sheltered from…well everything"

"Huh"

"Why do you ask Freddie?"

"Ah I was just wonderin' babe"

There was a moment of silence which made me look at Freddie who was staring off into the distance.

"I'm sorry babe" he choked out.

"What Freddie?"

"Look what I've done to you!"

"Freddie, you didn't do this" I said grabbing his face.

"I know I didn't really but all this is caused by me" he said as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Freddie, where is all this coming from?"

"I don't think I can live with this"

"Freddie…"

"No babe, I'm bad for you. You don't deserve this"

I don't think I have ever heard Freddie Jackson being critical of himself and it shocked me a bit. I was also shocked at how quickly his mood changed, a minute ago he was offering me more coke to ease the pain, clearly his mood swings were on a biblical level.

"Freddie, there's a reason I keep coming back to you" I said trying to get something out but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"I can't live with this, knowing having me in your life is causing this pain, emotional and physical"

I felt him slipping away causing a surge of panic in my stomach.

"Freddie, don't do this!" I sobbed.

"I'm gonna drop you home, then I don't know…I don't know how I'm gonna live without you though"

"Freddie!"

"No, shit is about to get serious in my life with Jimmy fackin' running the show and everything which needs to be sorted…but you're just this oasis of calm that I can come back to when I feel my life spinning out of control…" he said as if he was torn between which side he was going to agree with it.

"Freddie I want to be there with you!" I said even though I didn't entirely believe what I said feeling my face pulse with pain.

"No, I can't have that!" he said standing up. "You're so much more than all this and I don't want to drag you down. Your mother was right to keep me away from you" he said wiping his eyes.

"No Freddie! I have never felt for anyone the way I feel about you and I cannot even begin to describe how much I…I love you"

His eyes widened looking at me.

"You don't…everyone that loves me ends up getting burned and I don't want that to happen to you, you're too good, you've got to good a heart for that"

"Let me in Freddie, let me love you. I won't get sucked into your world; I won't be there when you're working…"

"But that's the thing!" he shouted. "I'll want you there, I already do and you won't be able to refuse so you'll end up like all the other slags I have coasting through my life and I fear…that I won't feel the same way about you as I do now."

Hearing him say this made something inside me hurt.

"I don't want you to be like all the other slags! And right now…with your beat up face and red upper lip you're looking more like them the more you hang around with me"

I stood up and faced him as his breathing quickened on my face and his eyes watered more.

"Freddie, look at me!" I said grabbing his face to look at me. "I can't live without you in my life" I cried.

He pulled away, trying to get his face from my grip but I wasn't letting go.

"Alyson stop!"

"No Freddie!"

His fingernails dug into my hands but the pain wasn't about to stop me letting go of him. But then I felt his hands reach up and grab my neck pushing me against the cold tiled wall of his bathroom.

"Alyson!" he growled.

"Freddie I can't let you go!" I said feeling his hands close around my neck cutting off my air.

"No! I need you to stay away!" he said his grip tightening, ironically enough.

"But Freddie" I choked out. "I love you!"

His eyes clenched closed as if that was the last thing he wanted to hear. He growled through his teeth at me, his nose suddenly inches from mine. His mouth came crashing onto mine biting my lip while his grip still remained around my neck. He pulled away breathing heavily into my face, his eyes watering and tears falling onto my face.

"Freddie, I love you"

"You can't…I'm a heartless monster"

"No!" I growled. "You are anything but a heartless monster, I know that…my life was so mundane before you came into it and I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in it and I couldn't feel that way about a heartless monster" I yelled looking between his eyes.

"No! I'm not good for you! You need someone better!" he screamed releasing his grip and pushing me against the tiles. He marched out of the bathroom snarling to himself while my head knocked hard against the solid tiles before I slipped down to the ground seeing the vision at the side of my eyes growing dark and a pumping sensation in the back of my head before blacking out completely


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello loyal fans! How was everyone's Christmas and New Years? Hope it was amazing for all of you :D So new chapter, hope you like it and keep reading and reviewing, you're all amazing people, thank you so much for all the support on this story and all the other ones, I love you all! :) xoxo**

**-Sailor**

I woke up in a hospital bed. I heard some voices whispering and it registered with me that I was awake. I opened my dry gritty eyes and the vision became clearer. Nurses stood around me whispering but stopped once they saw I was awake. A pain like I have never felt before hit me in the back of my head. I reached up and patted a bandage that felt moist and my hair felt sticky and greasy.

"Hey don't touch it" one nurse said. I noticed they all avoided looking at my face.

"How long was I out?" I croaked.

"About a week"

"A week?!"

"Yea…you took a pretty bad knock" she said with an air of suspicion.

"O yea…must have been when I fell against the bathroom wall" I said, seeing flashbacks of it reappearing in my head.

They all stayed silent, it was like they didn't believe me. Thinking back on it now, I can understand why they didn't believe me. My face was all broken up and I found unconscious in Freddie Jackson's apartment. Needless to say, it was not an idle situation.

Then I saw my aunty looking in at me from the window, her red puffy eyes told me everything. She thought Freddie did this to me. When the nurses eventually left, they said something to her and she came in, holding a tissue up to her eyes.

"Sweetheart…" she sobbed.

"Listen before you say anything, I just want to clear one thing up. Freddie had nothing to do with this"

This wasn't necessarily true but it wasn't true that he beat me up, he never laid a finger on me and she needed to know this.

"Darling, how can you sit here and defend him! Have you seen your face and your head?" she cried running her hand down my cheek.

"I know it looks bad, but Freddie never touched me!"

"You were unconscious in his bathroom…how can you expect me to believe he had nothing to do with it?"

"No, what happened was…we were having a fight and he pushed me a bit and I banged my head" I said quietly.

"So he did hit you!"

"No, that's not what I said Rose!" I yelled, well as loud as I could. I rubbed my forehead knowing I didn't have the strength to explain this to her right now so I changed the subject.

"Has my mam been here?"

"No…" she said quietly shaking her head.

"How can she not come to see me?" I said feeling myself starting to cry.

"I don't know…I told her as soon as I found out but she just said keep me informed…I don't know what's wrong with her, she doesn't sound like my sister"

"Like when she threw me out, I knew she was serious…but this"

"She threw you out?"

"Yea…told me I wasn't to come home until…" but I stopped myself. I knew if I mentioned Freddie's name she'd start again.

I took a deep breath and rested my head on my pillow. Even just this short conversation had taken its toll on me and I felt like I needed to rest. But just as I was about to close my eyes, I heard a faint knocking on the glass. I opened my heavy lids and saw it was Freddie. He stood awkwardly gazing through the glass at me, his eyes with that watery glaze as he pulled at his nose, holding a bunch of flowers. Romantic gestures were not his forte but it was nice to see. Seeing him here immediately brought a smile to my face and an angry frown to my auntie's.

"He's not coming in here!"

"Rose" I coughed. "Let him come in"

Freddie stood looking through the glass at me but didn't come in. He was obviously waiting for Rose to leave.

"Rose, give us a minute please"

"Sweetheart…"

"Please!" I pleaded, my eyes flicking back to him. I was worried he was going to leave thinking I didn't want him there.

She reluctantly picked herself up off the chair and walked to the door.

"I'll be watching from outside" she said before walking out the door ignoring Freddie completely.

Freddie stepped in standing dead still after he closed the door; he didn't have his usual 'I don't give a fuck' swag though. It was almost like he didn't know what to do or how to act.

"Babe…I'm sorry"

"Freddie…you can come sit down"

He glanced behind him and sniffed loudly. He put the flowers on the side table where he was standing and pulled up the sleeves on his suit jacket.

"Freddie, please come and sit down"

He walked over and sat on the edge of my bed, the gold dripping off his neck.

"Freddie, what happened?"

"You don't remember?" he sniffed.

"I get flashbacks but I don't really remember"

"I stormed out, took some pills and fell back asleep…and I woke up and found you cold on the bathroom floor. I thought you were dead" he whispered wiping his eyes.

"Freddie, I just banged my head. You didn't do anything"

"I did! All this was because of me, this is all my doing!"

"It's not, it was an unfortunate accident Freddie and I understand that. Did you bring me to the hospital?"

He turned to me with a look of 'what a stupid question' plastered on his face.

"Of course I did! I brought you straight here and stayed with you…did your aunt not tell you?"

She wouldn't of course.

"No…well I just woke up like a while ago…how's work?" I said wanting to change the subject.

"You don't even wanna know…Fackin' Jimmy…cutting me out of deals I know he is"

"Are you sure?"

"Yea…can't believe it…I put him where he is today!" he sneered.

"I know Freddie" I whispered reaching over and rubbing his back.

I suddenly got a flashback.

"Freddie…you didn't mean what you said did you? When you said…you were basically cutting me out of your life?"

He took in a deep breath, and pulled at his nose that was beginning to drip.

"Yes I was. It's over" he said turning and looking straight into my eyes. "I'm a cancer…so I really just wanted to make sure you were ok and now that you are…I'll go, got a lot of shit to take care of" he said getting up and looking around him.

I reached over and grabbed his hand pulling him over to me.

"Freddie, please don't leave like this"

"I have to go, you just heal up here babe…and go back to college and…"

"But what about everything we had? Remember you said you wanted an easy life…we can have that easy life! Me and you!" I said feeling the words catch in my throat and my head hurt even more.

I saw the words sinking into his foggy brain but he shook his head trying to rid himself of them before pulling his hand out of mine.

"No! I don't love you!" he screamed causing the doctor who was standing outside my room to glance in.

I felt tears form in my eyes as his words cut into me. "Freddie…how can you say that?"

"Because I don't! We're…we're too different! You don't belong in my world Alyson! Why can't you fackin' see that! I will ruin you! Everything about you…the way you dress, the way you speak, your education…it's just does not belong in my world, you…you do not belong in my life! So leave me alone! We're done!" he shouted.

"But Freddie, I love everything about you…I can't even describe it! And you're just going to throw it all there?"

"Yes…yes!"

My aunt stormed in obviously hearing the commotion and got right in Freddie's face.

"Right, get out now!"

"I'm already fackin' leaving! Not that it has anything to do with you anyway!"

"How dare you, you lowlife scumbag!"

"Rose, don't talk to him like that!"

"I don't ever want to see you again" he snapped.

Freddie wiped his teary eyes, took once last look at me, stormed out and closed the door as I fell back in my bed exhausted by the fight and burst into tears. I drowned Rose out after she started badmouthing him. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. My whole world was falling down around me and she just wanted to tell me how he was dirt, how would that help? But I had to come to terms with it, Freddie and I were officially finished.

* * *

When my head healed enough for them to let me go home, my aunt was there straight away to put me in the car and take me home. Obviously she was worried thinking Freddie might come to take me home but she had nothing to worry about, Freddie had just thrown me in the rubbish like an old piece of fruit. She drove through the city and out to the suburbs and back up to the house. She brought me in and sat me on the couch, fussing all over me. Then the phone rang. I was hoping it was Freddie…but it was my mother, the last person I wanted to talk to, to be honest.

"Yea…she's here now" said my aunt coming back into the sitting room. "She wants to talk to you" she whispered holding the phone to her chest.

"Well I don't want to talk to her"

"She's kinda tired right now…can she call you back?"

There was a moment of silence. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to her, she wasn't even bothered to come and see me in the hospital. Besides she'd just give me the usual Freddie is scum speech and I was already getting that off Rose.

"She says she wants to know how you're doing"

"Well why didn't she fucking come and see me" I snapped.

"What…ok. She says she wanted you to see for yourself what life with a man like Freddie is like"

"Tell her to go and fuck herself!"

I picked myself up off the couch, pushed past her and hobbled upstairs to my bed. They all believed Freddie was the cause of this and I was sick of hearing it. If everyone just kept their nose out of it, maybe we'd be able to be together. I fell onto my bed my mind flooded with thoughts on how to get Freddie back in my life. There was no way I could go back to button down life after getting the taste from the poison chalice that was Freddie Jackson. I was going to do it, even if it killed me.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone, old and new readers! Hope everyone is well :) Thank you to everyone for their lovely reviews, I love you all and do love reading your thoughts so please leave a review :) You're all amazing :D xoxo**

**-Sailor**

Unfortunately by the time I fully recovered I had to go back to college and study every chance I got because it was exam season and since I had been off for so long I had some serious catching up to do. It didn't help when I eventually returned that my face was still scarred. People would sit across from me in the library and I could see them whispering and laughing. But I couldn't focus on that or anything else because I found myself completely lost under a sea of work. It also didn't help that Rose was keeping an annoyingly close eye on me, she photocopied my schedule and exam timetable so she knew where I was at any time and if I wasn't home promptly she would ring me constantly. But it didn't matter I didn't have time to chase him and he kept to his word, I didn't see or hear from him. There was no sign of him, it was like he was just a distant memory only haunting me at night when I had time to relax and let my mind wander.

Before I knew it, a whole year had passed since my last encounter with Freddie. I had somehow managed to scrape my way into third year of college and I had promised myself I would never let myself fall behind that far again. I had managed to keep up to date with work and stay out of trouble. But while my academic life was going swimmingly my personal life was in shambles. I missed Freddie terribly and over the last year I had gone into myself a lot. I wouldn't talk to anyone in college, I stopped going on nights out, when I would come home I would eat quietly and then go either to my room or my study and lock the door. I had no interest in having any contact with anyone. I had become a social outcast. My mother had also start coming around more often trying to get back in my life, but I had no interest in that whatsoever. She would try and talk to me when I'd come in but I would just sit and ignore her. Neither of them mentioned Freddie either. I was thinking they had hoped I had forgotten about him but he was on my mind every single day but I couldn't say it to anyone. I wondered if he still had my portrait beside his bed or did he throw it out after he went home from the hospital that day?

Every day when I came out of college, a little bit of me thought he would be standing outside leaning against his car with one of those horrible cigars stuck between his lips, wearing one of his cheap suits with his tacky gold and black sun glasses shielding his sensitive eyes from the sun. Except he was never there and each time I saw he wasn't there, it was like a deep cut inside me.

I stood waiting at the bus stop and I saw a black Mercedes stop in traffic in front of me. A pale face with dark glasses turned and looked at me before driving off, it looked like Freddie but I knew it couldn't have been. Over the last few months, this has happened many times. I think about him so much that I think I see him in other people so I just ignored it. But it was nice to imagine he was keeping an eye on me.

I went home and found Rose and my mother sitting at the kitchen table talking, nothing unusual there.

"Alyson" they both called as I walked past the door.

I dragged myself in, threw my bag under the table and slumped into the chair.

"How was college?"

"Fine"

"You know, your tutor rang earlier today" Rose spoke.

I raised my eyebrows waiting on them to get to the point.

"She's worried"

"I get all my work done, what does she have to complain about?"

"Well she said your work has lost…its spark"

She wasn't wrong, my work before Freddie was good but my work during Freddie was unreal or so she said, but since then it was passionless. Well yes naturally enough, because there is no longer any passion in my life.

"Well it's getting done isn't it?"

"This is not you" chirped my mother. "This was never you; art was always the love of your life what's wrong? Over the last few months I've noticed this decline…"

"Listen…I've heard all this"

"Well why hasn't it hit home yet?"

I shrugged my shoulders and sighed, rapidly losing interest in this conversation.

"You've got to snap out of this! Grow up Alyson!" my mother suddenly yelled banging the table.

"Yelling at me is not gonna help"

"You know Freddie isn't pining over you as much as you are over him!" she sneered.

This was the first time she mentioned Freddie and my temper began to flare.

"He has a long line of slags prancing in and out of his place and car every single day. I see them!"

"This has nothing to do with him" I whispered trying to act like what she had just said didn't really hurt.

"Bullshit!"

Just…leave me alone"

I got up and ran towards the stairs, up into my room and locked the door. I threw myself on my bed and saw Freddie, the statue, staring back at me. I picked up a jacket and threw it over, covering it. I balled my fists in anger punching the mattress. It seems that I can't do anything right these days. When I was failing and going down a slippery slope, I got crap off everyone, when I'm on the straight and narrow and turning in all my work on time even though I'm miserable, I still get crap off everyone. So there was no point anymore, I couldn't do any more to annoy people so I might as well have a slight shred of toxic happiness in my life. I was gonna find Freddie. I waited for darkness to creep up on our quiet suburban home before I snuck downstairs. I had a fair idea where he would be. I snuck past the living room seeing the two of them sitting on the couch watching television, so I tip toed to the front door easing it open. The chance of them going up to check on me was slim, they just assumed now I stayed in every night so I could go out and be back before they notice.

* * *

I arrived at the Vortex night club and ran past the queue of drunken clubbers who yelled abuse and threw empty beer cans in my direction.

"Can I help you?" mumbled the bouncer looking me up and down. I wasn't exactly dressed for clubbing.

"I'm here to see Freddie"

I saw something in his eyes seize up. Clearly Freddie was the one in charge here.

"He might be upstairs" he muttered before stepping aside.

I raced past him and down to the main dance floor. I made my way through a crowd of sweaty, drunk, drug riddled dancers who fell over me not realising I was there. I eventually made it over to the metal staircase before bursting through the door. A huge man stood on the other side and immediately pointed a gun at my head as I stood dead in my spot.

"The fuck you doin' here?"

"I'm…I'm here to see Freddie" I stuttered looking down the barrel of his gun.

"You a cop?"

"No, not at all"

"Alyson?"

I looked over and saw Jimmy standing, looking quite dapper in his suit I might add, staring at me with a look of total bewilderment on his face.

"Jimmy, is Freddie here?"

"Boss, who's the kid?" the guy with the gun pointed at my head said.

"If she's not gonna buy anything get her the fack out" I heard another person say from the seat opposite Jimmy.

"It's Freddie's mule" said Jimmy walking towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me into a corner.

"What the fack are you doin' here? You could have got shot bursting in through the door like that"

"Where's Freddie?" I said glancing around the room to make sure he wasn't there.

"He's not here…I thought you learned your lesson"

"Shut the fuck up Jimmy! Just tell me where he is" I sneered.

"Jimmy can we get this shit sorted, some of us got shit to do!" I heard one of the scumbags shout.

"Yea, yea just give us a minute"

"Jimmy, where is Freddie" I said pulling his jacket so he had to face me.

"If I don't tell you what you gonna do?"

"Well I'll find myself in more situations like this…could get really hurt" I snipped.

Jimmy rolled his eyes. I knew he would tell me now; Jimmy wasn't a cold, heartless man. Even though he had no time for me, he wouldn't sleep knowing I was crawling around all those dingy, dangerous places pining for Freddie.

"He's at the lap dancing club tonight"

"Why isn't he here with you working?"

"That's got nothing to do with you, and don't go mouthing to Freddie about this either" he said grabbing my t shirt and pulling me up to him.

I nodded and he put me down. I ran over to the door and back out of the club before hailing a taxi. I told him the address and he looked at me twice.

"You what love? You know where you're goin' yea?"

"Yes I do"

We arrived at the dingy lap dancing club and I hopped out throwing the money at the driver. The bouncer looked me up and down blocking the door with his arm.

"You lost darlin'?"

"No, I'm here to see Freddie Jackson"

"He expectin' you?"

"Yea…I owe him money…so he said I was to come here and pay him so it doesn't interfere with his evening. I'm one more late payment away to having my head blown off in my bed"

I have no idea where that came from.

"Ah yea…we get that a lot" he said before stepping aside. I ran down the steps into the darkness, the music pumping in my ear. I looked over to the booth where Freddie brought me last time. A cheap looking hooker was dry humping some guy who didn't look any older than me and looked totally out of place. I suppose a place like this attracts a mixed crowd. I approached the barman and watched his eyes squint slightly as if wondering where he had seen me before.

"Freddie" I shouted above the music.

He nodded, remembering the last time I was here. He pointed to the door we went through before. The doorman stood aside after getting the nod from the barman. I remember he said something about a usual room. I closed my eyes trying to remember the last time we were here. But the last time I was sufficiently drunker so my mind was very foggy. I looked at each of the doors trying to remember. No…we walked down this corridor. I looked down at the door at the very end of the corridor…I was almost 99% sure that was it. I jogged down and pressed my ear against the door, but I couldn't hear anything. I took a deep breath and opened the door. I saw Freddie's back bouncing up and down and two skinny legs wrapped around his waist as he groaned and she shrieked, sounding quite fake I might add.

I slammed the door behind me and Freddie's hand reached under the pillow and shot around in seconds pointing a gun at me.

"Fack sake Aylson! I almost fackin' shot you!" he shouted before lifting himself off that whore.

"Freddie what the fack" she yelled.

"Get out"

"What?"

"Go on, get the fack out!" he yelled at her.

She sprang out of the bed, her make up smeared all over her face. She pulled on her dress and walked past but not before scowling at me.

"What about my fackin' money!" she shrieked.

He pointed the gun at her and cocked it before sneering "Get the fack out you slag" at her.

She ran back up the corridor and I closed the door.

"Jesus Alyson! What the fack are you doin'! I nearly fackin' killed you!" he shouted pulling his boxers on.

"Yea well I don't care anymore" I said sitting right beside him on the bed.

"Alyson…" he said rubbing his eyes. "What the fack is wrong with you?"

"Freddie" I whimpered leaning my head on his shoulder. "I miss you"

He sighed loudly and nudged my head off him.

"I thought we were over this…it's been…what over a year now?"

"Yes and I have been miserable every day"

"I can't believe we're back here" he sighed rubbing his temples.

"Freddie, I…"

"Have you been going to school?" he sniffed cutting me off.

"Yea…but my work has lost its spark"

"Why's that?"

"Because you're not in my life anymore"

"Fack sake Alyson" he growled, his head turning towards mine.

I leaned over slowly and brushed my lips off his, my mood instantly lifting. But just as I was beginning to feel like myself again, it was over taken by fear when Freddie grabbed me and pushed me down into the mattress lying on top of me sticking his gun in my temple. His hand grasped my neck pushing me further into the bed.

"Now you listen here…I'm not gonna tell you again, we're finished"

"No Freddie…" I gasped.

"We are and the next time, I won't hesitate" he sneered sticking the cold barrel of the gun further into my temple, creating a bruise I would imagine.

"Freddie you wouldn't hurt me"

"Don't test me" he said leaning down until his nose was bumping off mine.

"Freddie why are you pushing me away?" I panted feeling a tear roll from my eye.

"I don't know" he whispered.

"I need you in my life Freddie"

"No one has ever said that to me, normally they can't wait to get rid of me"

"Well I need you in my life, not having you is unbearable!"

"What have I told you before? I'm a cancer"

"Freddie I couldn't love you if you were"

His brow furrowed and I saw his eyes look between mine, that slight glaze covering them.

"Please tell me you love me as well" I said feeling my breath catch in my throat.

He pulled the gun away from my head and climbed off me, sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I sat up and pulled him into a hug. His nose bumped off mine again and I kissed him gently.

"No…no" he said pulling away before closing his eyes and leaning in again.

"Tell me you love me Freddie, I know you do"

But his eyes just clenched together and he sniffed loudly, his nose starting to drip as it usually does.

"Freddie stop fighting me off" I whispered. But his tongue reached up to mine this time. I clambered on top of him, pressing my knees into the mattress trying to press my groin as close as possible to his feeling a familiar twitch in my lower body, one that I haven't felt in months.

He fell back on the mattress, his hands running all over my body which made me moan loudly. I closed my eyes feeling his fingers slip into my trousers, his touch mixed with the feeling of his moist lips running down my neck and chest sent shivers throughout my whole body. I finally felt alive again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello everyone! How is everyone doing? So new chapter for The Take :) I hope you guys like it and just to let you know I have a story up based on the character Jack Donnelly from Cape Wrath. In case you haven't seen it, Tom Hardy plays a great twisted, sick individual in it. There's some clips on YouTube if you want to get a sense of his character in it, he's electric in it of course! So check that out if you would like :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and sure leave a review if you're so inclined :) Love all you Hardigans! xoxo**

**-Sailor **

I ran my tongue all over his lips making everything around me seem obsolete. His hands gripped my waist and pushed me up before throwing me over against the wall.

"Go home!" he yelled reaching over and pulling his gun at me again. "I'm deadly serious! Go fackin' home!" he screamed shaking the gun at me.

"You can't just fucking push me away like this!" I screamed back.

His eyes widened slightly at my sudden outburst. My tone even scared me a little.

"Freddie I don't care what you've done or what you're going to do to me!"

"You're just a stupid little girl! You have no idea what you're getting yourself in for! See me? I'm trouble! I snort coke for breakfast, you go to college…how can you not see that this will not work!" he spat at me, his voice cracking with emotion and his eyes starting to water again, the gun still pressed firmly in his hand.

"I am not a stupid little girl!" I growled straightening myself up against the wall.

"Yes you are! You're so sheltered and naïve you think people like me live happily ever after! Just go home ok? Forget about me!"

I grabbed the barrel of the gun and stuck it against the front of my head. "Well then go on Freddie do it! Do it! DO IT!"

He cocked the gun, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

"If you don't leave, I will!"

I stood gripping the gun against my head staring at Freddie waiting for him to do it. I'm not even going to lie, if he shot me right now, I'd be happy.

"Well then just do it! Do it Freddie please! Put me out of my misery!" I cried.

His red, puffy eyes blinked at me before his head shook a bit taking the gun away from my head. He reached over and grabbing the top of my arm dragged me out the door and down the corridor.

"Alyson I swear if you don't leave me alone, I will make sure no one ever finds you ever again do you understand me?" he sneered pulling my face up to his.

"Freddie, I am not letting you go this easily" I whispered.

"Well we'll have to make sure you don't want to come looking for me" he sneered before spitting in my face and throwing me on the ground.

I wiped my eyes and heard the main door open behind me.

"Take her out of her and put her in a taxi"

"Yes boss"

"But take her to the taxi and that's it…and I fucking mean it!" he growled.

Then I heard a gun being cocked and searing pain rushing past the top of my right shoulder making me cry out. I reached up and felt warm liquid pouring out my arm and a burning pain on my flesh. Freddie had shot me.

"It's just a flesh wound Alyson but I don't think any of your lovely college boyfriends would do that would they?" he jeered, sniffing loudly.

I felt two arms reach under me and drag me along the floor, my arm still pulsing with pain.

"Tell the driver to take her to the hospital and I mean that, nothing else you worthless piece of shit"

"Yes boss" he puffed dragging my limp form out to the main part of the club and up the stairs. The cold air hit my face and I felt myself being lifted and thrown in the back of a car and instructions for the hospital were given.

I gripped my shoulder which was still pouring blood all over my hand and the driver's seat.

"You alright love?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

"No" I whimpered.

"Drug debt was it?" he said in a flat tone like he'd seen this many times before.

I just mumbled in pain and I saw his head nod.

"You're lucky they let you off with a flesh wound. Must not have been a lot…you don't sound like someone who would be involved with those guys though" he mumbled flicking his indicator.

"Am I going to be ok?" I whimpered.

I felt the car stop and the dim red stop light stay solid above me. I saw the driver turn around in his seat and look at me properly.

"Ah jaysus…you're just a kid what are you doing getting mixed in with them scumbags?"

"It's not really like that…" I choked out.

"What's it like?"

"I can't explain it…" I sighed holding my shoulder tighter. Even if I could explain to him that I was in love with the man who had just shot me.

"You look a bit like my kid" I heard him croak turning back around and driving seeing the green filter.

"Are we nearly there?!" I cried, the pain getting more unbearable by the minute.

"Yea we are" he said grabbing the handbrake and rushing out the seat.

He opened my door reaching in and lifted me out.

"You're gonna be fine" he panted as he walked me in, carrying all my weight I put on him.

We got the reception and I was put in a wheelchair and wheeled into a sterile looking room.

"Are you her dad?" I heard the nurse ask.

"No, no I'm just the taxi driver…I picked her up from a dingy strip club"

"What?" she said slightly bewildered.

"It's a drug debt I'd imagine…although she looks to well fed to be a junkie…must just be new to it"

"Right…"

"Is she gonna be ok?" I heard him whisper.

"Yea should be ok…appears to be just a flesh wound"

"Jesus…she's just a kid like" I heard him sigh.

"I know but this is what happens, we see them from time to time…diseases from needles etcetera, it's disgusting. You don't need to worry; she's in good hands here"

I took once last look out the door and saw the taxi driver lifting his cap and wipe his brow before turning on his heels, a sad smirk on his face and leaving.

A doctor came in assessed the wound before giving the nurse instructions. He left after a few minutes leaving me with the nurse. She cleaned the wound mopping the blood away from my shoulder blade.

"You may need a few stitches" she mumbled.

I was beginning to get accustomed to the pain but it didn't help when she dabbed it with disinfectant.

"You're lucky; the bullet didn't get lodged in your shoulder"

"Suppose that's lucky I mumbled watching her strap up the wound. Two people then burst through the door, my mother and my aunty looking scared and upset. They were the last people I wanted to see.

"So what exactly happened?" asked the nurse.

"I was shot isn't that fucking obvious?" I snipped.

"Alyson!" snapped my mother. Trust her to, even when I'm severely injured; expect me to keep to my manners.

"Who shot you?"

"I don't remember" I mumbled.

"It was him wasn't it?" snipped my aunty.

A deathly silence followed. The tension in the room was running high and I knew the nurse could sense it because she didn't say anymore. She just did her job, told me they'd have to keep me in overnight and then left.

"So you went looking for Freddie?"

I didn't say anything; there was no point in saying anything they had already made up their mind.

"Clearly you found him…and I suppose this is to show how much he loves you?" snapped my mother.

I didn't say anything just ran my hand over my new Freddie related injury.

"Well don't think you're coming home with me!" shouted both my aunty and mother together.

So it would appear I wasn't welcome anywhere.

"That's fine" I mumbled.

"Yea Freddie will take you in; you know maybe give you another loving bullet wound"

With that they both turned around and walked out of my room leaving me sitting there until I was brought into a room by a nurse to rest for the night.

* * *

I lay in the bed that felt like I was lying on a cloud, my shoulder pulsing every few minutes and sending a pain up through my arm every time I moved it. Due to this and of course Freddie swimming around in my head, I only got about 5 hours sleep. I never thought my life would take this kind of twist where I would be lying on a hospital bed with a bullet wound in my shoulder. This had never been part of my plan...but I suppose you can never know what life has in store for you.

* * *

The next morning I woke up still groggy, was given breakfast and was told I could go down to reception when I was ready to be discharged. Part of me didn't want to go because I had nowhere to go. I took my time getting dressed and slowly made my way down holding my little bag full of painkillers and antibiotics. I signed my papers and was told there was someone waiting to take me home, in the waiting area. I furrowed my brow but didn't say anything, just in case. I opened the door and the last person I was expecting to see was there, it was Freddie in one of his God awful suits with his gold chains hanging around his neck. His knee shook, his eyes were watering heavily and he was sweating profusely. He wiped his cheeks on his hands, dragged his hand over his face before he looked up and realised I was there.

"Freddie…" I said backing out the door slightly, slightly fearful of him.

"You will never guess what that snake Jimmy has been up to!" he exploded.

It was like last night hadn't even registered with him.

"Freddie…eh…"

"He's been working behind my back! He's making a huge deal with the guys I fackin' started with! And he's cutting me out of it!" he bellowed standing up and taking my hand.

"I…I…"

"I always looked out for Jimmy! Always! And this is how he repays me! That deal he told me was off?! The lying cunt"

"Freddie…what about…"

I saw tears stream down his face and I knew that my injury didn't matter anymore. If he didn't need me, it wouldn't be a problem. But I knew that Freddie knew I was his emotional crutch and right now he needed that. Even his family were willing to con him so I was probably the last person he could trust.

We walked out, him still ranting and raving about Jimmy. I guess what I had walked in on last night was Jimmy starting his own empire without Freddie, even though he put him where he was today. He didn't seem to notice my arm and if he did he just didn't mention it. He sat me in his black Mercedes, still ranting, and started the engine heading towards the flats. My shoulder pulsed with pain while Freddie shouted about Jimmy all the way home but I still couldn't stop the little smirk that came on my face knowing Freddie needed me now.


	19. Chapter 19

Hello everyone! First of all, let me apologise sincerely for not updating any of my Tom Hardy stories including The Take: Freddie Jackson, Cape Wrath: Jack Donnelly and Forrest: Listen as the nightingale sings. I literally have had no time to write whatsoever, I have college exams coming up really soon and I've been studying so much. Trust me, I am not having any fun whatsoever and I would totally prefer writing my Tom Hardy stories for you lovely people :) But unfortunately I can't. I will try and get something written if I get any free time whatsoever but it still could be a while for which I am sorry. I promise once I am finished and get time again I will be right back to writing, I promise I have no given up on my stories, I still want to continue and take them further. I love you all for your wonderful patience and I am sorry once again :( -Sailor


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